1) Everyone should try to play the same piece.
2) A repeat sign means that everyone should stop and discuss in detail whether to repeat or not.
3) If you play the wrong note, give a nasty look to one of the other players.
4) Tune carefully before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clean conscience.
5) Take your time turning pages.
6) If everyone is lost except you, follow those who are lost.
7) If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
8) If everyone else has finished playing, do not play any notes you have left over.
9) If a passage is difficult, slow it down. If it is easy, speed it up. Everything will work out in the end.
10) Dynamics, slurs, and ornaments need not be observed. They are written to embellish the score.
Compliments of Philip
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