April 2008

When Did I Grow Up?

April 13, 2008 03:52

It's sunset. That time of the day when everything is beginning to settle down. Everything's quieter. The sky is dramatically changing hues... yellow, orange, red, then a somber blue begins to take over until it chases the brightness to the horizon and the colors are gone.

As a child I used to watch this scene daily. I would sit quietly hours before and wait for that drama to change the sky. I'd mull over what it meant and even wrote several poems about it. My short stories were filled with characters who often looked at this same sky.

But now I just glance at it for a few seconds before settling down on my computer to do my stuff. I don't even think about the colors anymore, or the cloud formations, or how the stars appear, seemingly out of nowhere. Instead I think about the work I have to do tomorrow at the office, the history project I will finally begin, the Suzuki Book 1 pieces that I have to practice, and even the laundry I'll be doing later. The sun is going down and I am missing it, but my thoughts fly to yesterday's chamber rehearsal and how, like PM Rolf, I don't think I'm ready for it. We are playing the Overture to the Christmas portion of Handel's Messiah and, although I can sight-read it, I can't play all of it yet. As an adult beginner, my fingers can't keep up with the running notes. Will they ever?

Darn it, the sun is gone. I miss having to sit peacefully, just waiting for God to paint that picture. I didn't care then how much time passed, or what I needed to do in the next few hours. When did I grow up and become this adult? When did all the cares of daily life suddenly become more important than the clouds?

7 replies | Archive link

More entries: June 2008December 2007

Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram Email

Violinist.com is made possible by...

Shar Music
Shar Music

Pirastro Strings
Pirastro Strings

Corilon Violins
Corilon Violins

Colburn School: Chamber Music Intensive
Colburn School: Chamber Music Intensive

Find a Summer Music Program
Find a Summer Music Program

Dimitri Musafia, Master Maker of Violin and Viola Cases
Dimitri Musafia, Master Maker of Violin and Viola Cases

Violinist.com Shopping Guide
Violinist.com Shopping Guide

Metzler Violin Shop

Bein & Company

Bay Fine Strings Violin Shop

Leatherwood Bespoke Rosin

Annapolis Bows & Violins

Los Angeles Violin Shop

String Masters

Bobelock Cases

Things 4 Strings LLC






Sleepy Puppy Press

Jargar Strings

J.R. Judd Violins, LLC

Southwest Strings

Nazareth Gevorkian Violins

Laurie's Books

Discover the best of Violinist.com in these collections of editor Laurie Niles' exclusive interviews.

Violinist.com Interviews Volume 1
Violinist.com Interviews Volume 1, with introduction by Hilary Hahn

Violinist.com Interviews Volume 2
Violinist.com Interviews Volume 2, with introduction by Rachel Barton Pine