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June 23, 2005 at 1:51 AM

I woke up today feeling that there's something terribly wrong. I know what it is, and I still marvel at how much the violin has begun to affect me.

Last Sunday I left my violin in church, in the room of our musical director. I was thinking that since I won't be able to practice on Monday or Tuesday, I might as well just take it home after our Wednesday service and rehearsal last night.

Come rehearsal time, someone was kind enough to bring the violin to the band area, so that I won't have to get it from the room upstairs. But when I opened the case I was shocked to find that my instrument had come apart. The bridge was broken and thrown out of its place, the strings were hugging the sides of the violin, and I noticed that the hair on my bow was also unusually loose. I can only conclude that someone had tampered or played with it. This coming undone has happened to my violin before, but not in this manner. Some of the strings were even bent.

I reported it to the musical director and he was as shocked as I was. I asked if he had left his room open at any time when he wasn't there, and he did. We both don't know what happened to my violin. Only now I don't have an instrument to play and I can't afford to have it fixed.

So I woke up this morning wondering what I could do. Earlier last night, before I found out what happened, the musical director and I were talking about his recent meeting with my former teacher, the concertmaster of one of our local orchestras. He was surprised at this teacher's faith in adult beginners. He mentioned to him that many people were mocking us adult beginners in the string section, saying that we had some nerve trying to play violin at our age. And this concertmaster's comment to that was: they don't know what they're talking about because they don't know the violin. He believed that adults can be proficient violinists even if they start learning at a later age. I'm beginning to wonder now if my violin came undone on its own or if someone maliciously tore it apart.

Regardless, I'm amused that this violin has gradually become so much a part of me over the years that I actually feel bad that this happened. I feel a certain void in my life, as though things were badly out of balance.

I wish I could play on Sunday. But how? Later today I'm going to window shop for a new violin, dreaming that I could buy even a very cheap new one for Sunday. I've had my broken violin taken to the luthier to be fixed--I don't even know how I'm going to pay for it. But that's what faith is for.

I play to worship God, and I believe He will take care of what I need. I was praying this morning for the provisions to have the violin fixed, as well as for a new violin which I could use as a spare in case of emergencies like this. God is good. I know He will provide everything.

From Carley Anderson
Posted on June 23, 2005 at 11:32 AM
Kudos to you for your great attitude. May God bless you by fulfilling your needs. I'm so sorry about your violin. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my violin ripped apart like that...such a vital part of your life-I wish you (and your violin!) the best. Keep us updated.
From deborah mitchell
Posted on June 23, 2005 at 11:37 AM
Panis,

How awful for you! Some years back, my first new car was broken into. I felt violated.

Isn't there some way this vandalism, malicious or not, could be discussed with the entire congregation? Certainly it is the responsibility of the person(s) involved to pay for repairs or replacement.

From K. S.
Posted on June 23, 2005 at 12:56 PM
Maybe the damage, although scary to see, is not serious. The bridge can be replaced, the strings straightened and/or replaced, and the bow tightened? What an awful experience for you. I suppose in the future you won't be able to leave your instrument in the church, even if the room is locked.
From Emily Liz
Posted on June 23, 2005 at 3:03 PM
Some luthiers may even consider repairing your violin for free or at a reduced cost if you offer to do some chores for them. (I'm planning on becoming a luthier myself, and I'd definitely consider this sort of arrangement.)

Just so you know, I have just as much respect for adult beginners as I do for concert violinists. I started playing at nine and people have *still* implied that I was too old! Isn't that crazy? But yes, I am sure that you will be okay, especially because you are playing for yourself and God. There can be no better, purer motive.

The Lord bless and keep you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Emily

From putch panis
Posted on June 24, 2005 at 1:05 AM
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers :) The luthier said that the damage is minor and all that's needed is to replace the bridge. A friend of mine has offered to shoulder the cost in advance, and I'll be paying her as soon as I can.

I haven't talked to our musical director yet, as to what should be done about this but I'm leaving it all up to God. One thing for sure, I won't be leaving my violin in church anymore, locked room or no.

I'm still aspiring for a spare and will be saving up for that soon as I have some extra cash. God is truly good! I'll be able to play on Sunday!

Thank you all :)

From Jonathan Stuchell
Posted on June 24, 2005 at 4:03 AM
I'm glad you worship God on your violin, I love to do that and I always will. You may even prophesy on the violin, bringing healing and deliverance to others on your instrument.
By the way, I have a full size German violin with a K.Mueller bow and case
for sale for $500. God bless!
From putch panis
Posted on June 24, 2005 at 6:24 AM
Yup, just like the young David did for Saul. Our music ministry in church is called the Holy Society of King David. Music has this wonderful way of bringing peace and well-being to people. It's almost miraculous.
From Timothy James Dimacali
Posted on June 25, 2005 at 5:27 AM
Hi, Putch!

So sorry to hear about your violin. It's a good thing that it's only minor, repairable damage.

I sometimes have nightmares about my violin shattering to pieces. I always wake up in a sweat afterwards.

I once tried giving my violin a name, but I soon realized that my relationship with the instrument is too intimate for that. After all, does one name one's own hand, or foot, or nose?

Our attachment to our instruments is so intimate that it truly is beyond words.

Keep up with your violin studies, and don't mind the hecklers. Pity them, because they don't know the intense beauty of your relationship with your violin.

Hmmm, your post has inspired me to write a new blog entry... But I'm out of time for now, GTG.

Best wishes,
TJ

From putch panis
Posted on June 27, 2005 at 1:10 AM
Hello Tim,

Thanks for the encouragement :)

I took my violin to Mang Amador and his people did a splendid job. I hope to be able to buy one of his master violins someday.

I don't name my violin either. That would be kinda trying to define something. In older times, people didn't even use a name for God--because He was too holy. Eventually, people gave Him a name--YHWH. It was almost a whisper.

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