Last Sunday I left my violin in church, in the room of our musical director. I was thinking that since I won't be able to practice on Monday or Tuesday, I might as well just take it home after our Wednesday service and rehearsal last night.
Come rehearsal time, someone was kind enough to bring the violin to the band area, so that I won't have to get it from the room upstairs. But when I opened the case I was shocked to find that my instrument had come apart. The bridge was broken and thrown out of its place, the strings were hugging the sides of the violin, and I noticed that the hair on my bow was also unusually loose. I can only conclude that someone had tampered or played with it. This coming undone has happened to my violin before, but not in this manner. Some of the strings were even bent.
I reported it to the musical director and he was as shocked as I was. I asked if he had left his room open at any time when he wasn't there, and he did. We both don't know what happened to my violin. Only now I don't have an instrument to play and I can't afford to have it fixed.
So I woke up this morning wondering what I could do. Earlier last night, before I found out what happened, the musical director and I were talking about his recent meeting with my former teacher, the concertmaster of one of our local orchestras. He was surprised at this teacher's faith in adult beginners. He mentioned to him that many people were mocking us adult beginners in the string section, saying that we had some nerve trying to play violin at our age. And this concertmaster's comment to that was: they don't know what they're talking about because they don't know the violin. He believed that adults can be proficient violinists even if they start learning at a later age. I'm beginning to wonder now if my violin came undone on its own or if someone maliciously tore it apart.
Regardless, I'm amused that this violin has gradually become so much a part of me over the years that I actually feel bad that this happened. I feel a certain void in my life, as though things were badly out of balance.
I wish I could play on Sunday. But how? Later today I'm going to window shop for a new violin, dreaming that I could buy even a very cheap new one for Sunday. I've had my broken violin taken to the luthier to be fixed--I don't even know how I'm going to pay for it. But that's what faith is for.
I play to worship God, and I believe He will take care of what I need. I was praying this morning for the provisions to have the violin fixed, as well as for a new violin which I could use as a spare in case of emergencies like this. God is good. I know He will provide everything.
I did. I found a teacher and studied with him for a while. I joined the church band, now fast becoming an orchestra. Where before there were only 2 violins, now there are 6. And there are 2 cellos too. Many, many years before that, having an orchestra in the church was only a dream. How fast dreams become reality.
I am not the best player in the group, but I'm trying. And I'm realizing that the violin is not just an instrument that makes music. It's an extension of one's body... and one's spirit. And the quality of its song will depend on the quality of that spirit.
I'm learning to play the violin so that I can worship God with it. When I was trying to find a violin through the internet, I was asked by a violin maker as to what kind of violin I was interested in. I said, "Do you have one that's good enough to play for the Creator of the universe?" He must have thought me slightly insane. At any rate, he said they had no violins for that purpose.
I do not have the best violin ever made, but I'm hoping that faith and diligence will make my violin sound as best as it can.
How does one play music to God?
With reverence, freedom, love and passion--giving one's all to Him who fills all in all.
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