October 2005

Walking in the Rain

October 20, 2005 00:40

It's almost 4 pm and the sky is overcast. There will be a heavy downpour soon and I'll get to walk in the rain again, grey clouds above, rushing water at my feet. There's no better way to relax...

Last night I watched a recital in church. Next year it'll be my turn to play there. I don't know if I'm ready. I still don't believe I'm playing music, although I play the notes and string them together as smoothly as I possibly can. It still doesn't sound like it should. What to do...

I've also been given several pieces, arrangements, to play for this December's Messiah concert. I wonder what Handel will say to that. I haven't learned vibrato yet.

The violin teacher didn't pan out. Sometimes concert masters are difficult to deal with. I would've loved to learn from him, but I can't ask him to teach me now. What to do...

... maybe I'll get some ideas when I walk in the rain later.

I love the sound of the Evah Pirazzis on my violin, really strong and powerful. It's almost begging me to play better, to bring out everything it's got. I wish I could, but how...

I'll raise my head to the heavens and ask for a teacher. I hope it's not too late. There's a melody in my heart that my fingers can't play. It's agonizing. Someone has to unlock the door and set me free.

The rain has started. If only it could melt the barriers in my head. If only I could play the music in my heart.

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