Dear parents of my student

I am happy that your son [daughter] is one of my students. He has musical talent, and he enjoys playing music. Do you know that as parents, you play an important role in his musical development? This is true even if you do not know how to play an instrument or read music. You can foster his musicianship in many ways.

First and foremost, you must be supportive music education. Let him know that you take it seriously. Have him keep regular attendance. Encourage him to practice daily, even if he can only practice for 10 or 15 minutes on a very busy day. (More about this later.) Buy him the books I recommend. Show an interest in what your son can do, and praise him for his advances, improvements, and even his persistent efforts.

If your financial situation is difficult, as it is for many people in this deep economic recession, please feel free to speak to me about it, and we'll find the best way to cope. I've done this with several of my students already, and it works.

Find occasions for your son to show off at home with an audience which is sure to be appreciative. Visits from grandparents are great for this. Your son can choose two or three songs to play for them, and he should practice them extra in advance. Any gathering of friends or family in your home can give him a chance to play and show off. Birthdays are special events. I will teach him how to play "Happy Birthday to You." That's a real crowd pleaser. One of my students, age 10, surprised everyone at a Thanksgiving dinner at his home by playing several tunes on his violin. Everyone was impressed and said so. When he told me about this experience, he said, "One of the reasons I like playing the violin is that I can do something well even though I'm just a kid."

If you or your spouse plays guitar or a similar instrument, you can play back up guitar with your son as soon as he learns a few simple songs. You can start doing this at one of your son's violin lessons with me to coach, if you like. I've coached several duos like this, and sometimes I play along. This is a valuable experience for several reasons. Playing by yourself is different from playing with others, and your son will benefit from getting an early start on playing with someone else. Playing music together is a great bonding experience for parent and child. Besides, music is a wonderful thing to share with someone you love.

If you know something about music and/or playing the violin, you may be able to help your son practice. The mother of one of my students used to sing in choruses, and she misses the experience. When her daughter has trouble keeping a steady rhythm in a song, Mom stands up in front of her daughter and conducts. It works! When her daughter plays a wrong note during her practice, Mom calls out, "Wrong note," and that helps too. Another student has a father who plays an instrument other than the violin. He doesn't attempt to teach his son violin specific skills, but he does help his son with rhythm and scales. In these cases, the parent knows enough about music to be a good, creative coach.

Now for the tricky part. Sometimes a talented kid won't practice. I know you don't want to get into a habitual nagging routine or, worse still, have confrontations with him. Reasons that make sense to us adults, such as "You have a gift, and you should appreciate and nurture it" or "I work hard to make the money to give you violin lessons" just fly over the kids' heads. I've found that it sometimes helps to schedule a regular time for practice every day and stick to it. If time is short because your son has too much homework, needs to attend soccer practice, etc., he can practice just 10 or 15 minutes and still accomplish something. At the very least, he will reinforce his muscle memory. If he plays a song he likes, he can motivate himself to keep practicing. Another approach is to reward steady practicing, preferably not with money. The mother of one of my students gave her daughter the reward of having not just one, but two, girlfriends over for a sleepover after she attained a certain goal. It worked. I encourage you and your son to talk with me if the practicing problem persists. After the three of us talk, it might help for me to talk to your son one on one. Sometimes a kid will talk more freely and honestly when his parents aren't around.

"Listening is practicing." So says the great trumpeter, writer, and educator Wynton Marsalis. He's right. Music is one of the few subjects which you can really learn by "osmosis." I'm often surprised that my students and their families don't listen to music much at home, and if they do, there is only one audio device for the whole family. I tell the parents of these students to play a music CD in the car when their kid is with them. Ideally, each student should have an iPod or CD player of his own. Some of their instructional books, including the Suzuki books, have their own CDs. It really helps a student know what a piece should sound like before he even gets to play it. Besides the educational CDs, your son should listen to "real" music to enhance his understanding and appreciation of music. I have hundreds of CDs, and I'm happy to make copies of any of them that your son may like to listen to. However, nothing beats the excitement of a live concert. Unfortunately, the tickets are often prohibtively expensive. There are free concerts, some family oriented. I'm always on the lookout for these, and I let my students and their parents know about them by email.

If you have any questions or issues you'd like to discuss with me, please feel free to contact me.

I look forward to helping your son grow as a musician and enjoy playing the violin.