November 30, 2004 at 6:25 AM
It’s been almost three weeks since I lost my job and got so depressed, as I described in an earlier blog entry. That whole episode seems surreal to me now. I’ve been working hard to pull myself back together. The thing that has helped me the most has been talking to friends both in person and on the Internet. I poured my heart out in my violinist.com blog; I posted an abbreviated version on another Web forum; and I spoke in person to friends in my church and elsewhere. I got so many wonderful responses, some from people I don’t even know. One woman whom I barely know has invited me to travel to Maine and spend Christmas with her. She is unemployed, too, but she offered to split the cost of transportation with me. That is the real spirit of Christmas. I have come to appreciate that we are all connected with each other more than we realize and that any person’s words and deeds affect others so much more than I knew. I have adopted the attitude of taking life one day at a time, just putting one foot in front of the other. I can’t solve all my problems for the future, but I can probably manage one day at a time. What is really most important for my future is what goes on inside my own head. I must hold onto some hope for my future and some faith in myself. There have been so many negatives in my own life and in the lives of others that I don’t think I can really conjure up enough positives to outweigh them. However, I may be able to sustain a tiny bit of faith and hope, no larger than a mustard seed. The days, weeks, and months ahead of me will be difficult, especially near the time of the Solstice. I hope that with the help of friends seen and unseen, I can make it.