May 3, 2006 at 5:52 AM
Well, once again I have to report that I'm NOT the newest member of the LA Philharmonic...What a process we musicians go through to get a job. While I was waiting for a practice room, I chatted with a woman who had flown to LA the previous day from Chicago, via Phoenix. Her advice: never fly American West! Some very bureaucratic gate agent actually forced her to put her violin in the belly of the plane.
"I was crying," she said, "I thought, it will be smashed to smithereens!"
Then, a steward intervened, and made them bring the violin back up into cabin, but the bureaucrat "wrote up" the steward! I had not heard of such things happening in quite some time.
Again, the auditions were run quite professionally, at the beautiful Disney Hall, a place that softens the edges of even a very hard audition. We were each given a practice room, where we could warm up, and the required rep was posted inside on the mirror, as well as instructions for stage decorum. As I walked into the room, the friend I'd practiced excerpts with was walking out! Small world, very small.
And yet there were quite a number of violinists there, from all over. As I overheard this excerpt and that, I thought, not one person here is a slouch. Depending on levels of performance anxiety, there must not be too radical a difference between one person's Schumann 2 and another's.
I saw a few local people I knew, but I also met people who'd flown in from New York, Boston and Chicago.
I was really happy that I'd brought my tuner and been tuning to 442 for some time: they actually had a 442 bell right outside the stage area so people could tune up to pitch!
I walked onto the the stage, being careful to stay on the carpet (they do this so that jury members won't hear the click of high heels. Of course I wore something akin to slippers!). I felt a little more comfortable all alone in the middle of Disney Hall than I had two years ago for the same occasion, but nonetheless I had that shot of adrenaline as I walked out. I took a few deep breaths, and though my heart was still pounded pretty heavily, I knew I had to play. It went okay. I had some moments where I reminded myself that I could control things. And yet I was still a bit shaky, a bit hesitant. I felt this slight hesitation killed my chance, that I didn't really get to make my case before I was dismissed.
I went to the Green Room knowing that I hadn't played long enough; I was definitely getting the boot. After the nine people in my group had all made it back to the green room, they came in and announced those who would go on, and I was not among them.
Yet I really didn't feel bad for having tried so hard. I got to know my Italian, which I almost certainly will buy. I gave this audition my full respect and prepared seriously. My playing improved, my outlook grew, I feel slightly wiser. Even though I'd rather have advanced at least one round and made my way closer to a sub list!
I picked up my kids from school later in the day, after a nice lunch with my hubby and also the obligatory vanilla latte, which I didn't finish. It just didn't taste that great.
I told my kids that I did my best, but it was over, I really didn't get too far. My five-year-old son, who has been playing the piano for more than a year and knows just a bit about performance, tried to make sense of it. He asked earnestly, "Did you play any wrong notes, Mommy?"
"No sweetie," I laughed, "Everybody played all the right notes. They just wanted something different, I think some other people just played all those notes better!"
At least you gave it your best shot Laurie and you seem happier within yourself than after the last time. It also yet again gave you another chance to regale us with your lovely prose. Thank you.
Glad to hear the Italian is sticking around. So how much did you get for Robert?
:)
Neil
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