June 13, 2007 at 7:12 PMThe audio file is the Franck violin sonata for violin and piano, third movement. The pianist is Joy Thurmon, the violinist is moi in 2003. I did the whole sonata, but figured I'd post them in installments. :)
Today I'm taking a mental health day. :). I've been reading the site but I always seem to get cut short of finishing my pleasure reading and getting to the responding and discussion participating...
Sometimes life gets so crazy and hectic and stessful and I can't even put my finger on what it is that is making it so. I assume stressful times means a busy schedule which means a lot of commitments and the like. But a schedule can be busy and hard without a lot that other people would see as "hectic".
I've been pondering going back to school for a doctorate because it is proving much harder than I anticipated to get a private studio going...and I want to teach. I am not cut out to teach grade-school kids in a school setting. I've fought with myself about that. Whether it is fears or pride or schedule or social anxiety or what all. But it isn't that. I'm just not cut out for it. I'm much better at one-on-one...or the college environment. The competition these days to teach even at community colleges or as an adjunct is fierce. So I need a doctorate. But I don't want to move. I like this city and my house and my life. I'm happy with it. So that answers that. I just wish I could get the kinds of things that I desire college for...in the "public sector".
I've been so completely motivated on both violin and viola, I'm even surprised. I am fairly certain it is because things are a bit rough in the outside world and the inside world of my violin and viola practice, study, research, and other aspects...well...is seems cushy and fun and takes me away with such success....and mostly the inertia from it causes things to seem less dark overall...whatever the issue at hand might be.
I really want to share that with some kids. Because life gets overwhelming at times for everyone. I think we all need somethign that can help us when we are feeling down, angry, frustrated, sorry, ....etc. etc. and we dont' know what to do else about the situation. Can't get past it. I want to give them music to come to for that reprieve. Rejuvination. Refreshment. And something that can always be cultivated more and lead to something else. Music is always going somewhere, which is why it draws me in so. Even if I have no performances coming up, there is always a reason to work on music and my art.
I'm 27 years old. I know my time for entering into competitions is probably past. But I find comfort in the fact that I'm starting to feel ambition. To think about those kinds of possibilities. Trying to get a quartet put together. Stretching my brain to advertise and reading books book books about musicians, their lives, and finding what music did for them. What it gave them and how they used that.
So. Today is my break day. I've been practicing and emmersed in music as if it is a fever...it has been wonderful!! I've been searchign for that for a long time. So today I take some time away from the world at large and my world in small pieces and lie on the bed and read books about Isaac Stern, Menuhin, violin repair, Suzuki's "Nurtured by Love". And at the end of the day when calmness settles into my bones, I'll pick up the violin and play and work and know it isn't part of the "feverish" musical envelope...it is also peaceful, relaxed, and beautiful.
Buri-sorry your email has been down. But I'm actually glad to hear that in a way. You know what I mean :)
Other responses....I'm technically supposed to already be on my way to take some tools to someone and had to take a swift look at v.com... So I'll have my v.com session later today :). Providing th ebattery holds out long enough. Starting over from scratch with a new windows installation two times in less than six months.
Whew. Talk about spending a lot of time at the computer sweating.
p.s. I'm so glad you guys liked the Franck! I posted the whole sonata on my profile page.
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