June 7, 2005 at 11:50 PM
Well, today has been strange. I had a CT and they put this IV with contrast in it and afterwards I was like "my arms are numb" but she said that was from holding them above my head. After a crying jag, I think from just all the stress, and a nap, I just woke up and at the computer realized that my arms still feel clunky and not totally with the program and are hard to control. I am so weird. I've been doing a lot of yelling and bawling lately, especially on the phone. And then I call back immediately to appologise and start all over again. I don't know what is wrong with me except that spending as much time as a full time job dealing with administration and the medical field can do that. Mostly I was just really angry that I, the patient, am not allowed to have information pertaining to myself, but they will gladl fax it to another doctor. Anyway. As far as violin playing, I'm just not in the mood. Or to do anything else, so I guess I"ll trudge over to the case and open it on up to see if there is a violin inside of it or not. Then I'll look at it for awhile and be like "hey, this is mine", after which, I'll remember that I can play it...and then I'll remember that it is fun.
My sympathies, Jennifer. The health care system can be depersonalizing, almost dehumanizing. Medical staff sometimes forget that patients are humans, first and foremost. I hope you found some joy in playing your violin. Running may help, too.
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