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jennifer steinfeldt  warren

April 16, 2005 at 8:55 AM

Well, it is four in the morning and I have to leave at 7:30 for the rehearsal concert with the symphony tomorrow. I'm so wide awake even though I've taken the nighties. I've been labeling things and researching things and reorganizing things. I'm also doing a lot of playing with the kitty. *sigh. Bad dreams when I try to sleep, but they aren't really dreams yet technically. Just can't focus. I'm not sure why this concert is such a big deal. It is a pops concert and I think it is because it is hard to practice the music even though it is hard, it is just hard because...whatever. I'm not making sense. I've practiced it and put fingerings in and all that, but I just don't feel like I'll be able to play it tomorrow in the rehearsal. Just a confidence thing I suppose. And a lot of driving. I don't mind travelling as long as my car doesn't break down. I've been listening to a lot of violin music trying to decide what to play next. I think I'm deciding on the Schumann Concerto in Dm (beautiful, but sounds challenging enough), a Prokofiev sonata. Actually I was going to do the prok. concerto 2, but I'd rather do a sonata by him. I hope there is one:). And I'm ready to get serious with the Ciaconne. I've played it for fun when I had time to play for fun...but I want to master it as well as I can at this point. Before all that, htough, I have to learn these excerpts for May 2nd. I get so I don't have the energy for drudgery practicing (what feels like it) and like, tonight, decided to just play some Bach and wham an hour had passed and I was feeling good again. I have to be disciplined, though. I don't think I'll get in the symphony, but I want to do the audition because I need to just DO IT. My best. Anyhow. I'm going to put myself vertical and think about something besides finances, the violin, negative events, or people. THen maybe I'll be able to not get too interested in my pre-dream and fall asleep.

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