April 6, 2005 at 8:13 PM
Well, it has been a very strange day so far. I've spent some time with an ancient videocamera that has a finicky chord and has to be adjusted to just the right angle (though that is always shifting...) to even turn on. The sound is warbly and the picture bad. But I wanted to make a little movie for a friend with title pages and stuff. Recorded a lot of the cat and playing some of my guitar songs and then some of my recital music. First of all, I woke up shaking and nervous in the pit of my stomach and it didn't go away. So when I recorded myself on the violin it was like a performance almost. It has been a very long time since I've watched myself play on video. I look possesed! I kind of sink my hips back into my stomach and stand with my feet a bit too far apart so I look like I'm bracing myself to lift a piano or something. But I shift around. I dip my knees when I get into something and I bend in towards the stand so I'm almost touching my scroll to my music and my scroll is actually a little too far towards the floor anyway. My whole body looks strange. Hm. ANd my facial expressions. And I sometimes turn my head when I'm not looking at the music and close my eyes so that it is tilted and then back again. The good thing is that I analyzed my technique and it isn't as bad as I thought as far as visually taking it in. My arm is like I teach it to be. My shoulder isn't raised up. My wrist is flexible and my finger joints move. I did notice that my pinky points out and isnt' even close to the stick most of the time except when I'm near the frog. My left hand looks o.k. I watched which muscles were obviously tensed and my bow usage. I was very surprised to see that my bow is straight. I didn't think it was. I extend my arm straight as well on long bows. My vibrato looks controlled. ANyhow. So I look possesed and half-crazed, but the overall technique isn't horrible. As for intonation...the picture wasn't clear enough to see if I was tensing before shifts after, during, all the time in my fingers. My thumb looked alright. My teacher has told me that it is good to hear the fingers hitting the fingerboard, it makes articulation, well, articulated, and the notes not bleedy. But...I think that I'm forcing my fingers down too hard and they kind of come flying for that "hit". Hm. I'll have to watch it about 20 more times. I didn't look nervous. I looked like I was having the time of my life and that the music was all through me. Not that it matters what I look like. Sound matters. Still. Well. I recorded a lot of the kitty, too. Now I'm about to go to Murfreesboro to rehearse, practice, and go to a concert tonight. A wonderful cellist is giving a faculty recital. I REALLY don't feel like leaving the house. And I especially don't feel like driving. ANd today I don't even feel like playing my violin, but I have to. I can't afford to take even an afternoon off at this point. Well. I'm longwinded! Jeez! I guess I'll go get ready and make myself leave and practice and all that.
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