March 16, 2005 at 5:42 PM

Hi Guys. It has been so long since I've been active on this site. I decided this morning that it is time to reinstate myself as a violinist in type :) Whenever I google anything that has to do with violin technique or...um, the violin at all...this site comes up. It is the best around. I figure that I need to get back into the groove of analyzing everything about my playing all the time. It got a bit overwhelming and was hard to feel right about anything I did, but I'm ready to take apart my playing again. To those who know me...I'm sane now. He he. WAY more so than when I was frequenting these pages last year. I still have that da*n recital to do. April 10th. And I have some auditions coming up for symphony orchestras, which I hope I am ready to play in. Been steadily practicing. Not as much as a lot of the people on here. I just can't do more than a few hours anymore. I used to grind away for 5-6 hours a day, but now I get more done if I only do 2 hours and keep very detailed writings on every measure that needs work, or problem to investigate, or approaches to alter. Maybe I've just gotten weak. I played Mahler 5 this past weekend and it was SO FUN. I had the stamina for the rehearsals and performance, so it isn't that I don't have endurance. Just that I guess I'm really not sure what else to do with my music. I've been playing the same pieces for, literally, years. They still hold excitement some days, but I'm at a loss on how to fix the things that are still wrong, and I am not even really sure what is wrong. Anyway. So it is hard to practice long hours. And I'm not going to put a guilt trip on myself for that anymore. When I get orchestra music or excerpts or new things to learn, I'm piqued and go at it longer I guess. Hm. Still have a knack for incessant rambling without purpose, direction, or content, I see!!! YAY. You know, now that I'm not in school, I listen to way more composed music. More music in general, actually. More curious about nuances, sounds and history. Some days I'm like "Hm. I wonder where Mendelssohn worked and why and what he was like" randomly. I guess I knew at one time. So I look it up and feel all academic and smart. Mmmm. Love feeling smart. Kind of like dressing up like Shostakovich for a day to get in the mood to compose. I was going to pretend I was Mahler one day while practicing his music, but can you imagine his moods and mine in the same skin?? My poor husband! Well. I'll stop at that. I am going to wait a few days before I respond to anything on the forums to make sure I can articulate correctly and get with the program. Besides. I've kind of been realizing that I should talk less and read/listen more. You think? (Jennifer scrolls up, up, up,...) Anyhow. Much to be learned and determined.
Sincerely,
JW

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March 16, 2005 at 5:42 PM

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