September 20, 2004 at 2:40 AM
I practiced a whole whopping 15 minutes today. I really tried to practice. After 15 minutes I was in tears and wanted to break something. I had to lie down and try to quell the frustration. THat was after I played through the Bach prelude way way faster than it should be ever played or that I can play it, missing all sorts of notes and playing very angrily and not caring about anything. Oh, the angst. The violin not responding. Basically threw it down, said some obscenities and curled up in bed. I think the violin is worth less than 200 dollars. It is o.k. for beginning string students, I suppose, but is not capable of handling the music I am playing. Really. Not just an excuse. I was so frustrated because I really WANTED to practice. I really WANTED to play. The bow is a fiberglass hunker with no balance. The G string sounds like a toy violin. Etc. etc. What am I going to do for two weeks? I wrote an angry email about the violin to my teacher, somewhere between the wailing, asking if he had a decent violin I could play for awhile. I hope, I hope. Now I kind of want to just play it anyway and not be so particular or care, just to get my fingers on a violin, but it is too late to be making noise in my apartment complex.
The trials and tribulations of being a violinist....they never end!
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