August 27, 2004 at 2:17 PM
I'm pretty pumped. Today is going to be a stressful, yet, I'm sure, rewarding day. I have a doctor appt. and then head off to MTSU for a faculty meeting and a GTA meeting and then to meet with my advisor. School officially begins on Monday, with the Orchestra having its first rehearsal on Tuesday. Being an orchestra assistant, I'm sure I'll find out this afternoon what hellacious amounts of preparation need to be done starting...today. I can't wait. I went yesterday and got my parking pass (the BEST thing about being a graduate assistant: the faculty parking privaleges), a locker, keys to rooms and practice areas...but mostly I hung out in the music office and talked to the secretary and other people who wandered in. I felt like I was at home. I realized how much I have missed making music with OTHER people. Lessons. Orchestra. Quartet. Even practicing with other people in the vacinity (I need that kind of motivation....you can hear it all the way down the hall). I'm going to take my violin, get there early, and practice. I got to see my teacher yesterday as well. He gave me a huge hug and congratulated me on our marriage. I have to admit that I'm a teensy bit nervous because people will ask what I did this summer (like they did yesterday) and even though I have prepared answers, I always flounder. I can't really say that I spent the first half in mental hospitals and emergency rooms and the second half in recovery programs. That I was unemployed. That I worked all summer to be stable enough to handle my last semester...which basically means...hello....today. And the next three months. That I lost my job because I went nuts. You know. My prepared answer is something along the lines of how relaxing my summer was and that I practiced a lot and missed everyone and that I'm glad to be back. I'm going to focus on the marriage part. That should work. Oh...I feel like a real person again. I had a dream all last night that kept waking me up that I went to the doctor this morning and he hospitalized me today and that I never made it to the faculty meeting or school and had to drop out before school even started. It was scary. But not real. I look lovingly at my violin in it's case by the door with my shoulder bag full of music and papers I have to turn in and notebooks to scribble in and the two thermos's of coffee to get me through the day and smile. What am I going to do when I graduate? I BELONG IN SCHOOL FOREVER!!! I also am excited about meeting the new graduate students. I met one yesterday and he talked to me like I am an old hand and asked advice and such. And in the music office, Connie treated me like a "regular" at a restaraunt or something. I've been there going on seven years. I also got my undergrad at this university. So it really is like my family, with new members popping up all the time and others moving on. It is my time to move on. I feel it, but I have one last semester to savour. As you can tell, I woke up way before my alarm....like a kid excited about their first day of third grade. So I'm writing a lot. I'll spare the v.com community from any further rambling. I feel incredibly sane and sure and full of musical energy today. We will sustain that and not get pissed off today, Jennifer, we will! Monday will be a feat. Now, in retrospect, I'm looking forward to Symphony rehearsal on Monday as well. Ahem, sigh, cough, batt eyelashess....I looked at the music that came in the mail, and there are some tricky passages in the Schubert that I'd forgotten about. Worked with a metronome. I'm going to nail them in the first rehearsal with all the sharps in tact. I don't care if it looks dorky that I already have fingerings scratched in, erased, and scratched in again. Oh, B. I got your email. Thanks. It wouldn't let me reply, but I appreciated it.
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