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June 2014

This is as far as you can go

June 8, 2014 16:49

I have been reading all posts about adult learners, can they learn? Etc.
And in my own life i'm going through a really tough time.
I had my first violin lesson at age 23 when i got into a conservatory where i got my elementary music education in 3 years. I then moved on to a vocational music school for 4 years, and i graduated a little over a week ago. I wouldn't call myself a slow learner, since i've made it quite far but it has definetly been very challenging. From day one i have given all my attention and passion to the violin, and that is what has been pushing me forward. As i said, it hasn't been easy, but i feel that i have managed to keep up with my fellow students who started early in life.
For seven years i have given it my all, fighting my way forward, improving.
Naturally i wanted to educate myself further and become a bachelor in music. But here is where i started getting comments about that i can never become a professional musician, that it's unbelievable that i got this far, but i will not be able to improve from here. ?! I improve every day.. But my teachers have all decided that this is as far as i can go. Because i started to late. The very same school that gave me the title "musician" is telling me i cannot become a musician and they won't let me in on their bachelor program. They are not saying that i need a few more years to develop, they say that this ends here. I'm on the same level as my classmates, but i am being pushed aside, they don't want me to go any further.
This breaks my heart. I have given up everything for the violin. I have had to live through many hurtfull comments, and i have been treated differently.
Right now i should be happy, celebrating my graduation, be proud of myself, and all i feel is that the diploma in my hand is worthless.

(Sorry for my bad english, i'm tired)

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