I had a funny feeling about going for my most recent round of Botox injections; I kept thinking that maybe I should just let well enough alone. Things have been going along pretty well; I hadn't had a Botox injection since February, and the tremors had stayed pretty much at bay until early July, at which time they began to make a tentative reappearance - not a huge one, but enough of one to make me think I should schedule an appointment for another round of injections. I was pretty pleased. I had seen my doctor in May, since the protocol calls for injections every three months, and it had been nearly five since the last set. I asked the doctor if it were possible for the tremors to just go away, and she said it does happen, so I thought that perhaps that might be the case with me. The fact that the tremors had begun to reappear in July indicated that they weren't gone for good, although they certainly didn't seem to be reasserting themselves to the degree that they had in the past. So on July 21st after discussing the matter with my doctor, I had another round of injections.
Unfortunately, this time the paralysis of my right hand is more complete than it has been in the past. My right hand and wrist are so weak that I am unable to hold a full glass of water or a plate. I am unable to control my little finger at all, and I don't have full control of the middle and ring fingers. I can control my index finger and thumb, but that's it. My only consolation is hoping that this is temporary; I have not had this much effect from the injections before, and I'm a little concerned. I'll have to try to practice in the hope that just bowing practice will strengthen the muscles in my hand and arm so that I don't lose the technique, but it won't be easy. Three months is a long time to go without playing. There's nothing to be done to reverse the effects of the toxin until then. In the meantime, I'm supposed to be brushing up Vivaldi's Concerto in A Minor (First Movement) for the opening program of the new season of our National Federation chapter music club in September; our theme is "Back to Basics"! Negotiating the sequence near the end of the movement will be a real challenge if things don't improve quickly with my right hand, if I'm able to do it. Maybe this is a signal that I don't need the injections anymore? Wouldn't that be grand? I just hope that this state of affairs is in fact temporary!
More entries: May 2010
Violinist.com is made possible by...
Discover the best of Violinist.com in these collections of editor Laurie Niles' exclusive interviews.