January 2007

January 25, 2007 20:15

I'm so confused about school. Everything I feel about it is is mixed up. The pros and cons are so staggering, and I can never figure out if I'm happy there or not. I'm in such a completely different environment than I was last year. It's like being in a freezer and then being dropped into a pot of boiling hot water. I really enjoy being with all the kids there; that's the best part. Maybe the only good part. The adults at school, for the most part, are just horrible. There are so many people that don't care where they are, that seem like they wish they weren't where they are at all and not doing what they're doing. Maybe they're just depressed because they ended up working in public school as a carreer? I don't know.

For an example, this morning I was late and didn't scan in. I didn't know that I couldn't just go up to my advisory and tell my advisor I was there, because of course I was never told about how any of this stuff works, because apparently everyone already knows about it. But a woman, one of the cops always guarding the doors, said something like, "Nuh uh, girl, you got to go to the office and get a late pass." So I did, and asked very politely to the woman with very scary three-inch nails behind the desk, if I could get a late pass. She told me very rudely to go to another desk outside, and that woman told me very rudely I had to go back to the office....I was bounced around until the first woman told me what I had to do (which was very simple, go to this machine in the corner and scan my ID, and get a little card that printed out.)

Just the way people deal with things in general is so totally uncaring and they act so unhappy all the time. I always am polite as possible to the teachers, and this afternoon when I asked one of them geometry teachers if she knew where another was, she interuppted me before I was done talking, said "No" so harshly I was astounded and brushed past me out of the room. It's just shocking. And a lot of the teachers are just extremely stupid, don't know how to teach or take control of their classrooms. I guess it's true; you get what you pay for, and in this case I'm paying for nothing, so that's what I get?

Sometimes I wish I could go to private school or homeschool. I really like a lot of the kids at Masterman though, they're the only good part. If I homeschooled it would be harder to get as much social time. Though I would be a lot freer on weekends. I have no idea what to do, I'm totally stumped. I don't get to practice enough. I don't get to see my out of school friends enough. Should I homeschool and sacrifice really close relationships with people at school for so much more free time, more time to practice and pursue other things? I feel like in some ways my quality of life would be so much better. But right now I can't make a decision.

Tonight I watched the State of the Union address for extra credit for history homework. I wasn't as bored as I thought I'd be, and I could understand most of it. Then I spent a bunch of time trying to get it perfectly onto this stupid worksheet our teacher gave us to make him happy.

I just had a conversation with a friend I was pretty close to last year who went to a different high school and who I haven't seen all year. It made me kind of depressed because I do miss him. I miss so many people so much, like my Kinhaven friends. I can't make myself believe that I'm never going back to Kinhaven. Literally everytime I think about it my eyes well up. At all times, there's no place I'd rather be than there. It's like my home away from home and I can't believe it's not going to be part of my life anymore.

This entry was sufficiently long and depressing!

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Time For Three!

January 9, 2007 20:18

On Sunday, my quartet Seraphina opened a concert performed by Time for Three, which was a fundraiser for Musicopia to raise money for their programs in the schools.

L-R: Ranaan Meyer, bass; Madeline Smith, viola; Zach De Pue, violin; Genevieve Tabby, cello; Caeli Smith, violin; Nick Kendall, violin; Sabrina Tabby, violin

I've known the T43 guys for a few years, because they were in the Rittenhouse Square documentary with me, so that's how I first met them. The Tabby twins were meeting them for the first time, but they love them as much as I do!

These guys are really amazing, not only as players and a group (we were blown over listening. It was really inspirational to us as a quartet) but just as people too. They're so friendly, and sweet. Ranaan, the bass player, offered to coach us sometime, which would be wonderful! I just hope that between our busy schedules we can fit something in.

Here's a video of the tangos by Michael McLean we played to open the concert.

Also, this weekend I'm going to Malibu for a From the Top taping. I cannot wait! I've never been to Southern California, let alone to what sounds like such a glamorous place.


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