The phoenix has be destroyed again. Ths time I fell again, I've never had the greatest balance while standing... which is usually why I sit down because I can't trust my balance.
The scroll has snapped off, not in the cleanest way, it can still be attached, but I KNOW it won't hold the tension of the strings even at low tension. I've had to liquidate all of my assets to make a day to day living, so there is no money for this repair this time... I Feel that I'll have to lock the phoenix away until a much later date... and while I'm okay with doing that, I know that i'll only be half the person I am maybe less, I'm not sure. But the phoenix will always live again, it's only a matter of time. And it will be better than the last. Pray for me, and if you don't pray at least keep me in your thoughts and make beautiful music.
Today while working on Lipinski I realized my E major scale wasn't rhythmically what I wanted and I realized it was because I wasn't plyaying the scale with the right shifting pattern for the rhythm which is one 16th followed by 6 32nd notes. Up till today I was using a slightly odd pattern starting in 4th position with my second finger E on the G string, and did 234,D1234,A1234,E123;123;1234ext4 which wasn't fast enough for the tempo and the three shifts up on the E string were clumsy at best, Sure, I can do it after a few trys, but it hardly feels reliable. So I changed it today to: Still starting in 4th position, G 234,D 1234, A 123;1234, E 123;1234 ext 4 now instead of the three shifts on one string it fits better under my hand and has a much more rhythmic feeling... This was a big change now that page can finally start to be a coehesive whole.
I'm frustrated. I hate everything I hear after recording. Hate it, hate it... and I have a message to paganini: I'm sorry paganini, my violin doesn't respond to you. At first I just though it was the technique, but then I realized that after a few times through I can do it, but it just doesn't sound that pretty. So I'm leaving you for your own master, Locatelli. Sorry to end it this way, but you're dead, I didn't think you would mind.
I haven't practiced the Lipinski in weeks... I should be trying to pound out that nasty sulla tastiera thirds passage, or maybe working on that triplet passage to make it sound like marching ants, but instead... here I sit, only talking about it. (casts down head) This is why I have such little output. I swear I'm going to destroy my computer one day, and the TV. Set my space up like a prison and get down to serious business... One day...
but right now it's so pretty outside...
hmm, maybe I'll go outside...
Go on, play outside, it can't hurt, maybe you'll get inspired...
No! I must practice.
No you don't, you need to live a healthy life, with nature.
Today was my first day to record... I've never done anything like this before except for tape tests in highschool. I dove right in and got up to the 2nd variation and played back what I had done. I'm telling you, I wanted to melt into the floor! It sounded fine to me, maybe a few intonation mistakes but, but the microphone picked up things I HAVE NEVER HEARD in my entire life. Playing live is well and dandy, but recording live music is a whole other beast. There are angles to worry about. certain ways to hold the bow and basically my technique had to change, I can no longer play in the way I would in a concert hall, I have to play quieter so as to not max out the decibil thingy... I'm very new at this and it's interesting. So basically today I only worked on things that would improve the tone of my recording. I worked on melodic pieces such as the meditation and Salut d'amour and I'm happy with the Elgar, but the meditation which is my favorite sappy piece needed something more to make it come alive. I'll post up an excerpt of the Elgar when I figure out how to upload things. Tomorrow I'm going to try and record the theme of the Last rose of summer, and maybe the second variation if I can get it the way I like it.
More entries: August 2010
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