One of Emily's Commandments (if she got to be God)

December 16, 2006 at 3:50 PM

Thou shalt not play Silent Night on heavily distorted electric guitar.

I will smite thee, and instead of damnation, thou shalt be assigned to the harp.

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on December 16, 2006 at 9:08 PM

That's why you'll never be God. You see, the beauty of 'Silent Night' is in the irony of its attempt to create the impression of silence by using sound. Where irony, dissonance, etc., occurs, it should be emphasised in order to maximize its effect. Therefore electric guitar, with distortion - the purpose of which is to create sustain and carrying-power, is the the most appropriate instrument for this song - and it should be cranked to a window-shaking level. Guitar distortion is derived from ancient instruments where the distortion is derived mechanically, instruments of a pagan nature. This contributes another, seconday level of irony. If all you're after is something pretty in your ears, try some earrings. Or stick little pieces of strawberry brazilnut biscotti in them.

From Terez Mertes
Posted on December 17, 2006 at 3:01 AM

Emily, only you.

Jim, only you.

: )

From Terez Mertes
Posted on December 17, 2006 at 3:02 AM

>If all you're after is something pretty in your ears, try some earrings.

Oh, you really ARE in your prime, Jim. I haven't read anything quite so entertaining from you since you screamed at John Thornton to quit dic*king around and sell you the blasted violin. (Not that your other comments haven't been entertaining, mind you. You and Emily - what would we do without you?)

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on December 17, 2006 at 7:06 AM

God don't I wish I was in some kind of prime. Any kind of prime.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on December 17, 2006 at 7:02 PM

Jim, the main reason I'll never be God is that I have these days, you know. On some days, all would be struck down. None would be spared.

I need some scotch tape.

And Emily spake from the heavens, and it was so. To the ends of the earth, all the desk tops teemed with scotch tape.

From Terez Mertes
Posted on December 17, 2006 at 9:52 PM

Keep the tape, I'll take the scotch.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on December 18, 2006 at 5:44 AM

I prefer single malt scotch tape.

From Tom Steele
Posted on December 19, 2006 at 9:27 PM

I'm bringing my squier strat friday.