this is another 'episode' of my previous blogs about my life as an amateurish self-taught...
I love to make myself believe that for a professional musicians, audience is like one of the source of energy for performing music. An atmosphere that keeps the performance alive. I don't know how it feels like because I'm not a pro performer. But as an audience, I do..
Even if music is not my professional career, I personally think audience would be an important thing to myself. At first, it simply just feels like I need these people to be around me (although lately I consider myself to be an introvert).
What would these music, that I practiced, mean if no one hears or understands what I am doing?? I think I still can stand it for a while. I play by myself for myself, for almost all the time. But on the other side, I’ve always been wondering about the feeling of having the real experience, being in the right atmosphere...
If you read my previous blogs, you’ll probably have a little picture of what I have been through. There are good things coming, but more bad things are following.
There are new “professional violinists” are appearing in my city. Isn’t it supposed to be a great news? I wish it was.
There are communities appearing and advertising themselves as professional classical musicians & teachers. The good side is classical music started to get popular among them, as well as the interest to learn to play the instruments.
They are realtively new in the music world but acted as if they already know everything for a long time.
Many of them probably have never heard the names of the great violinists like Heifetz or Perlman. The pieces of music they heard are most likely just the Pachelbel's Canon or Bach's Air. When I mention anything other than those, they would say I am "an alien speaking alien" that should just go away..
Meanwhile, in other Islands/Provinces, there are lots of music schools and professional musicians, so many soloists and ensembles and so many concerts. The people around them do have the awareness and proper basic knowledge. So if any ‘improper’ things appeared, they would just fade away slowly (or sometimes faster), or simply they'd be educated, because they already have the right environment to grow.
If only we had the same environment here..
I’m very sad that I can’t do anything, I don’t have the power.
No one would bother to hear things from an amateurish self-taught like me anyway..
I might say, I can only cry through my violin (sorry another drama thing lol)
But on the other hand, I don't want my hard-work to be meaningless.
I wish I could improve myself, so that someday I could share the right things..
Nowadays I keep posting the recordings I played. I have NO intention to show-off about how ‘’good’’ I am, going alone all this time.. but simply just to look for the real people anywhere out there, to hear their comments, not just about "oh, it's good; oh, it's bad". I need more detailed thing so I can improve and correct myself
I'm very lucky that I ‘met; so many good friends around the world from internet. Pro performers, teachers, luthiers, students and even just audiences, who gave me their honest comments and I thank them all very much, and of course I thank you all, everyone here in V.com :)
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