this is another 'episode' of my previous blogs about my life as an amateurish self-taught...
I love to make myself believe that for a professional musicians, audience is like one of the source of energy for performing music. An atmosphere that keeps the performance alive. I don't know how it feels like because I'm not a pro performer. But as an audience, I do..
Even if music is not my professional career, I personally think audience would be an important thing for myself. At first, it simply just feels like I need these people to be around me (although lately I consider myself to be an introvert).
However after few years playing, or one might say after “few year messing around the violin”, I just want people to experience what I felt when I play, especially the joy and particular emotions that one can sense in music.. I just want to share it, to let them be aware that such beautiful thing does exist and it doesn’t just pop out like magic. It is produced by hard-work, patience, passion, dedication, commitment, joy, and even sorrow...(okay I’ll try stop the drama thing) oh, and of course...money! lol
What will these music that I practiced mean if no one hears or understands what I am doing?? I think I still can stand it for a while. I play by myself for myself, for almost all the time. But on the other side, I’ve always been wondering about the feeling of having the real experience, being in the right atmosphere...
If you read my previous blogs, you’ll probably have a little picture of what I have been through. There are good things coming, but more bad things are following. The people around me is getting worse and starts making me insane. Many new “professional violinists” are appearing in my city. It's supposed to be such a great news, isn’t it? I really do hope it was.
There are communities appearing and advertising themselves as professional classical musicians here. The good side is classical music started to get popular among them, as well as the interest to learn playing the instruments, especially of course, the volin.
One can be a superstar violinist here. Even only by playing simple Suzuki-Bach (Petzold) G major Minuet, you're an instant “orchestra player”.. You don’t have to care about anything, even basic stuff like holding the violin properly. Plus, you just don’t have to read music because it just "makes you become a boring, inflexible musician".
In my previous blog I said “I was like a person from stone age, seeing fire for the first time” when I saw an orchestra score for the first time in my life. Well, it's a normal "phase" that most beginners would face.
However, these new learners discovered their “fire” mostly within only a short range of time but acted as if they've been doing that for years. They do read music, like reading simple rhythms or simple melody of pop music's vocal line (which luckily written in sheet-music) and voila! they instantly become a classically-trained violinists..
They also do "arrange" music. They write their own two-part violin score: same melody in unison, or occasionally in octaves.. sometimes they make harmony for those two violin parts by dividing the exactly same melody into two different keys (e.g. violin I in D major, and violin II in C major) and play them together.. “OH WHAT A SWEET DISSONANCES!"
And...they also teach...
Many of them probably have never heard the names of the great violinists like Heifetz or Perlman. The pieces of music they heard are most likely just the Pachelbel's Canon or Bach's Air. When I mention anything other than those, they would say I am "an alien speaking alien" that should go away..
Meanwhile, in other Islands/Provinces, there are lots of music schools and professional musicians, so many soloists and ensembles and so many concerts. The people around them do have the awareness and proper basic knowledge. So if any "barbarian" communities appeared, they would just die away slowly (or sometimes be gone much faster), or simply they'd be educated, because they already have the right environment to grow.
If only we have the same environment here..
I’m very sad that I almost can’t do anything, since I basically don’t have power.
No one would bother to hear things from an amateurish self-taught like me anyway..
I might say I can only cry through my violin (sorry another drama thing LOL).
I don't want my hard-work to be meaningless.
I want to improve myself, even with all odds I'm facing. So someday if possible, I could share the right things..
Nowadays I keep posting the recordings I played. I have NO intention to show-off how good I am, going alone all this time.. but just to seek for the real people anywhere out there, to hear their comments, not just about "oh, it's good; oh, it's bad". I need more detailed thing so I can improve and correct myself, simply because I can't find such people here..
I'm very lucky that I met so many good friends via internet. Pro performers, teachers, luthiers, students and even just audiences, who gave me their honest words and I thank them all very much, and of course I thank you all here in V.com :)
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