Hear Your Hair - Personalized Bow Hair
For over 300 years, string players have used the hair from horses to bridge the connection between player and instrument.
But today, Fiddlershop announces a revolutionary product and service that will change the future of string playing forever!
Introducing Personalized Bow Hair from Fiddlershop.
Send sample of your hair to Fiddlershop, and we’ll re-hair your bow with YOUR hair!
Don’t have long enough hair to supply my own sample?
At Fiddlershop, you can choose the hair that best reflects your musical program by browsing “The Libr-hairy” or “library of hair” from around the world.
Play your Debussy and Ravel program on hair grown by a Frenchman. Play your Villa-Lobos and Piazzolla program on hair grown in South America!
Is your hair not strong enough for a bow?
No problem,
With our patent pending, hair growth and strengthening serum: VIO-MECTIN, you can transform your human hair which is normally too fragile to be played with a bow, into a world class instrument.
Our 4-week serum regimen is a concentrated supplement created from the same nutrition fed to the Mongolian horses that supply bow hair to the world.
People ask us all the time what's in our water, and we just say:
"Hay!"
Don’t have long enough hair to supply your own sample?
No problem!
Our revolutionary new hair weaving technology opens the door to re-hair your bow using your hair from anywhere on your body. Yes, ANYWHERE!
Now you can finally "Play from the Heart" and "Put your back into it" quite literally!
It's time to hear your hair!
Get started at Fiddlershop.com
OK, hopefully you get the idea, that this is just a joke.
PLEASE DO NOT SEND US YOUR HAIR!
We don't want it, and it won't work in a bow (at least long term)
and also
PLEASE DON"T DRINK HAY!
or any other food intended for livestock.
* * *
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Replies
great one Michael!
Michael:
Even though all this seems like a great opportunity (especially when you play longhair music), you have no chance to use it if you are playing Night on Bald Mountain or any piece (especially a hair piece) by Samuel Barber.
But, when all is said and done, you really are someone who knows hair.
(Did that raise any eyebrows?)
A fine post on the Feast of All Fools!
I thought it was going to be some kind of genetic technology like CRISPR.
It is certainly good that we play on horse hair. Otherwise I would be very close to have to stop playing!
Perhaps the reason some violinists have a harsh sound is that their bow is made of hoarse hair.
Hoarse hair!
I think we need to start writing haikus now about this...
OK, Laurie. Here it is:
Music is love,
the fuel in my car.
Taste the sound.
(My haiku may be a curse, but my violin playing is worse)
Hah!
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