May 19, 2013 at 4:37 PMIn 2 hours I will be at my outside of school orchestra trying out for one of their ensembles I' Solisti. My mom received the email encouraging me to trying out, but told me very late, so I learned the music late and now here I am with a mostly memorized piece nervous that I'll screw up. Screams are itching their way out of my throat and I have the urgent sense to go and hide and not do the audition.
But then what would that accomplish? I don't know if I'll make it in or not, but this audition experience is important. There is college next year and that will be even more nerve racking. It doesn't matter if I make it in or not( well it does a little bit), but I need to get over this fear of being judged. Of course I am being judged, but why fear it? The worst they can say is that you did make it in. There is already a 50 percent chance of Not making it in.
What makes people so nervous about auditioning? The fear of messing up? Playing in front of people you don't know or better yet you do know? Not being able to impress? If there is one thing that people outside of the music world don't seem to think about it that not only is it hard to play the instruments, but it's hard to perform it in front of others for people. Music is so hard in every sense, but I'm willing to go through the fear and fire to make it my life...it's just going to be a little flight getting there.
Off to my audition I go
What you are feeling is natural, that does not make it any easier to face but at least you know you are human!
For me any opportunity to perform, recital, competition, audition is a chance to test myself. Yes, a positive outcome is my end game but finding out what works and what does not is more important.
It's what we do with that information that helps us move forward with our playing.
You are also learning a very worthwhile life skill - face your fear. Anyone who is prepared to do that, no matter what the outcome, should be applauded.
All the best with your audition.
Let us all know how it went and how you managed to face you fear.
Auditions are like any other exam, except they are noisy and public. Where a recital or concert can be experienced as a gift to the audience (that's one way I combat performance nerves...to think about what I want to give) auditions are, as you point out, more about what you want to get. Alexander Technique calls that 'end gaining,' and it usually knocks us off our best game.
I hope it went well for you.
Before you curse me that it is for piano players, they also perform on the stage and have left and right hand as violinists do. If you skip those passages devoted to piano technique, there is a lot of useful information for violin and other instrument playing, such as separating left and right hand during practice, memorizing. Information for stage problems starts on page 160.
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