May 2013

Stage fright

May 19, 2013 09:37

In 2 hours I will be at my outside of school orchestra trying out for one of their ensembles I' Solisti. My mom received the email encouraging me to trying out, but told me very late, so I learned the music late and now here I am with a mostly memorized piece nervous that I'll screw up. Screams are itching their way out of my throat and I have the urgent sense to go and hide and not do the audition.

But then what would that accomplish? I don't know if I'll make it in or not, but this audition experience is important. There is college next year and that will be even more nerve racking. It doesn't matter if I make it in or not( well it does a little bit), but I need to get over this fear of being judged. Of course I am being judged, but why fear it? The worst they can say is that you did make it in. There is already a 50 percent chance of Not making it in.

What makes people so nervous about auditioning? The fear of messing up? Playing in front of people you don't know or better yet you do know? Not being able to impress? If there is one thing that people outside of the music world don't seem to think about it that not only is it hard to play the instruments, but it's hard to perform it in front of others for people. Music is so hard in every sense, but I'm willing to go through the fear and fire to make it my life...it's just going to be a little flight getting there.

Off to my audition I go

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