March 2003

March 29, 2003 18:59

wow. i totally overreacted today. well, im not leaving msm. im gonna stay with my teacher too. today he told me how proud he was of me, and how even if i dont win itll show how much work goes into music and stuff like that.

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March 29, 2003 04:50

fianlly! the recording is over! nowi start walton. but omg, this whole situation sucked. heres what happened:
the whole time my teacher said HE would reserve a spot at msm for a reocrding. this week he told mei have to find my own place. soi was online for 2 hours getting a place. finally, i got one with a semi decent price of $95 an hour. so yesterday i repcrded it. it ended up costing $170 just on the recording, forget the money i now owe my pianist for her time. then my mom saw the application and its due the 31st. its the 29th. theyre fed-ex0ing it. i have to pay them back money now for al this extra. i told them that its my teachers fault. he was the one who said to do it last minute, andi thought the whole(since he told me) that he had a spot for me......my parents said i shuoldve known and taken some initiative. well, im thinking of leaving him as teacher. whats gonna happen when college comes around? and b/c of him i have to pay my parents back some $50 odd some dollars. andi odnt think i won the competition. there were 2 or 3 double stops still out of tune /before i realized how much this cost. damn it. well,i think im gonna leave him. later....

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March 19, 2003 18:16

recorded again today. found more bad things. but its all good. ill just correct them.

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March 19, 2003 18:15

annoying day. had to listen to awful mozart and sclaes played out of tune by well.....u know who........not me though, that damn girl! arg! anyway, got the rest of my cds today. mutter's sibelius(best recording of it in my opinion) genette neveu, and mozart violin sonatas-grumiaux. i like his bach too. anyway, a lto of hw and practicing. did 2 1/2 already, probably another 1/2 hour or 45 minutes of practicing and then studying for social studies and math tests tomorrow. i need a cigarette. later....

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March 17, 2003 13:10

ow! my body is really hurting from that horseback riding yesterday. especially my back. arg! recording next week! then im done done done! who cares about juries, ill do fine....anyway, i recorded myself today in school. wow. so many thinghsi didnt realizei did. a lot of accented notes that shouldnt be accented! and some intonation stuff that i had no idea i did. well, off to practicing! later....

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March 16, 2003 04:45

yesterday sucked. i had an orchestra concert. and i dunno. iknow i got last chair. i can feel it.i was on the phone for like, a half hour w/ my friend from cleveland about why music is going so badly for me. it boiled down to lacking slef confidence and not having a proper vision of why im in music. im so afriad of loosing this competitio0n coming up to that arch rival violist "Joe"(ill just call him joe here). apparantly hes beenmaking fun of me, when i make any mistake in orchestra. ive had it with music. after this competition im going to take a small break....

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March 12, 2003 13:14

margaretha heard my handoshkin. she ripped it apart, but in a good way. she wanted it more simplistic, emphasizing what really needed to be emphasized, as well using vibrato throughout the piece, not just on some notes. i told her how depressed i was. she said not to take this competition so seriously, since their output is always weird. she wants me to play for her this weekend. i will do so, if my mom drives me.she also said for me to call her if i ever get depressed about my playing. a midget in a red car stopped me on the street today. he asked what my case was, and if it was a guitar. i said viola. he said 'priola? whats thaT?" i repeated viola. he saidi fi was good, i said yes. he asked if i wnated it as my career. i said yes. thanks to the midget in the red car i know what i wnt now.

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March 11, 2003 19:22

i really odnt know hwat to do anymore.well, today wasnt great. i had schuberts class all day. then i came home and my mom yelled at me for dropping out of a little competition, b/c i had prep, and i couldnt miss is a week before the orchestra concert. i had my seating auditions also. im prepared to get last chair. i know they werent good. i know it. ugh damn it. and im worried about that competition. im sick of people telling me im messing up my life. mom actually said i could have ruined my college acceptances bc i didnt do this little f--king competition. omg. give me a break. i want to quit. i hate viola. i dont know what to do anymore. i know im not going to win this upcoming competition. everything has been going wrong musically for me. maybe i should quit. it seems like a sign. i just dont know what to do anymore.

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March 2, 2003 10:51

seating auditions cancelled until next week! and my lesson my cancelled, my teacher was sick....andi think im coming down with something too.im not working hard enough.

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More entries: April 2003 • February 2003