February 23, 2003 at 3:12 PM
wel, yesterday at msm was awful. first of all, all wekk i practiced and practiced and practiced. my lesson wasnt so great. well, i dont what it was. i sounded amazing. i dont know how but somehow my tone has gotten really good, and my expression was great. but, there were a few intonation errors wrong, and in the 11th variation of the piece, this one line killed me rhythmically and was discustingly out of tune(it was all double stops. he told me i just have to listen to it slowly, andthen fix it, then play it
20,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. he said he has to do that in this modern piece hes working on, play it a lot. but that he also had to do it in the lark ascending. this wasnt the worst part if the day. first of all, hes turning me, and this nick against eachother, since us two and another violist are doing this competition that his students win every year. so of course, its making us practice b/c we all want to win it. well, its working. arg! i hate this!and then, seating auditions were cancelled today, so we are having them next week. which means i have to work my ass of in order to beat nick, and that evil snob e-a.she isnt that good, my teacher said "whjy is she sittingfirst chair?" b/c if u read my old stuff, you'd see that i ended up getting 5th chair....even though i worked really hard. this stuff seems to always happen to me. so maybe i can break this awful time. but im afraid of all that work....but you know, it can always just make me better by working hard. im just really scared its all not going to go well. ill do my best. andrew-good luck today at cim.