February 2003

February 28, 2003 13:08

i dont what happened, but all of the sudden my rhythm got so much better well, i listened to what mararetha said about feeling the pulse. so schubert was happy about my rhythm,i hate the massenet though. blagh. bye, gonna take a small break then start practicing for my lesson tomorrow and my dreadful orchestra seating audition.

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February 27, 2003 13:01

arg! i hate orchestra excerpts. im not practcing otdfay b/c i wore myself out yesterday. i just kept going over them and slowly then faster. eventually, i couldnt even play them. so now, im not until tomorrow. i know ill get last chair. haah. arg. when did my expectations get so low? well i have work now. arg. i hate work. at least my competition stuff is better. the exceprts sounded okay afteri went to bed and immediately sat up and played them. well, off to hell..i mean work.

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February 24, 2003 13:12

what a terrible day. first of all, i have to say that musicians who have no careers and have attitude should kill themselves. today at my perfmoring arts high school. that a-hole mr. schubert was asking us wherewe wanted to go to ollege. i said cim or eastman. first he made this face like "oh my god" and then he said 'well, you know(as hif i didnt) those are really hard schools. why dont you apply somewhere thats less competitive?" i was shocked....first of all,WHAT THE F--K! im discusted. he cant play piano anymore he got carpal tunnel. so hev has no career. he hates kids. and why would he say that to me? so therefore, he thinks i wont get into a good conservaotry. well i asked my private teacher WHO HAS 40 SOME ODD CDS OYUT IS A CONDUCTOR A GREAT ORCHESTRA AND PLAYS AT CARNEGIE HALL if i will get into a good conservatory and he said without a problem. you know what larry schubert, you can go to hell. how dare he say something like that! what a jerk. there are no words to descirbe what i want to tell that man. so for now on, he can kiss my arse.

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February 23, 2003 08:12

wel, yesterday at msm was awful. first of all, all wekk i practiced and practiced and practiced. my lesson wasnt so great. well, i dont what it was. i sounded amazing. i dont know how but somehow my tone has gotten really good, and my expression was great. but, there were a few intonation errors wrong, and in the 11th variation of the piece, this one line killed me rhythmically and was discustingly out of tune(it was all double stops. he told me i just have to listen to it slowly, andthen fix it, then play it
20,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. he said he has to do that in this modern piece hes working on, play it a lot. but that he also had to do it in the lark ascending. this wasnt the worst part if the day. first of all, hes turning me, and this nick against eachother, since us two and another violist are doing this competition that his students win every year. so of course, its making us practice b/c we all want to win it. well, its working. arg! i hate this!and then, seating auditions were cancelled today, so we are having them next week. which means i have to work my ass of in order to beat nick, and that evil snob e-a.she isnt that good, my teacher said "whjy is she sittingfirst chair?" b/c if u read my old stuff, you'd see that i ended up getting 5th chair....even though i worked really hard. this stuff seems to always happen to me. so maybe i can break this awful time. but im afraid of all that work....but you know, it can always just make me better by working hard. im just really scared its all not going to go well. ill do my best. andrew-good luck today at cim.

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February 21, 2003 07:52

well, i didnt practice yesterday, i needed to take a break. but im about to ge6t started today in about 15 minutes. tomorrow is spring. i alwasy listen to the 4 seasons, each season on the first day of each season. okay, maybe i dont ALWAYS do that, but i try to....im thinking of what school to apply to and ive pretty much narrowed it down:
Curtis
CIM
Eastman
Juilliard
NEC
Peabody
MSM
Koninklijk Conservatorie
Paris Conservatoire
and safety-Queens College.
arg.....i know im gonna hate all that stuff. my friends hate this time. its full of anxiety and what not. all very annoying. ill be glad when its over. god knows ill probably be playing walton for a while. hahahaaaa. and schubert and hindemith(although i dont mind hindemith) and reger and the bach suites....arg....annoyance..i want to be an orchestral violist. theres no other paying job. violinists are lucky. i wish i were a concert violinist. just to say it is cool. hahah. but luckily viola is great. i know i want to live in a darkly lite street, in a brownhouse or an apartment, with hardwood floors or white carpeting, and a big shelf full of books, with a big window. and antique furniture...hmmm. kind of a dream of mine. i guess im decorating my dream home. hmmmm.maybe i should go practice now....

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February 19, 2003 10:40

im on a short break right now practicing. my friend had his peabody audition today. im sure he got in....anyway, im listening to the bartok solo violin sonata...ahhh! terrifying music! its like, extremely hard....well, im off to practice flesch and more sevcik. later!

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February 18, 2003 09:26

ugh.....i really hate viola sometime.s i hate it when you spend so much time with your instrument, and you realize how many thins you are doing wrong. i spent a half hour on one stupid Sevcik etude...number 30. i cant seem to hear the 7th intervals in the beginning, so i keep going flat...god! why is sevcik so annoying! i am going to go back to practicing after i write this stupid thing. and im gonna go over past etudes....im sick of this kreutzer im doing. im almost done with them! then i can start Dont Caprices...arg! and i have work today....ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. andrew-good luck at your peabody audition! later everyone....

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February 17, 2003 13:45

ugh. i need to work on my vibrato. its not relaxed. i practiced about two hours so far. ill do another hour and a half probably. on etudes and orchestra excerpts. i think i want to go to CIM. i might go there next year to get a lesson or two with some of the teachers on the viola faculty. ugh...i hate practicing. i hope i get into a good conservatory. anyway, its snowing like crazy here. i had to shovel some, which i was very mad about....arg....i burned my right index finger b/c i put it on the top of the fireplace.wow. that was stupid of me....hahah. its not badly burned so its okay. so i hope jen practices more. i really dont like listening to bad music. mom heard her play one of the handel sonatas at the open house(that was day i did the duet by lidel with margaretha and people kept asking my firneds about me) and mom said "wow, why is that girl here! shes messing you up!" haha. yeah well....i wish we had juries at the end of year so they could get rid of the people who belong at cac. stupid highschool. anyway, mom wont let me teach violin and viola. arg! i really cant stand her. although she was partly right b/c i have a good steady job at ugh....that damn bagel store.....dear god, what am i doing there?! i should be teachning not cleaning and mopping....ughhhhhh. shes so annoying. but i know shes just trying to make my life easier. i should probably start the crucible already.......well, its not too long of a book. gonna go read and then practice....later.

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February 16, 2003 19:06

practiced today, about 3 hours. some people from violinist.com e-mailed me i thought that was nice of them. finsihing ned rorems diaries. i think i want to go eastman or cleveland....i realized i cant date anyone but a pianist, violinist, or violist. or elsei have nothing in common with the other person....non musicians dont get musicians.

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February 16, 2003 06:35

so i actually practiced a little yesterday. wow. it wasnt too bad. i then went out to dinner the the fam. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. thats all i can say. i was in a bad mood i dont why. i feel bad about it. liz(my isster) did this ridiculous thing to her hair. we'll just say she looks like demi moore in GI JANE (ughhhhhhhhh gross!). but yeah. so people kept looking at her. it was embarassing. i think im gonna start one the solo viola sonatas by hindemith after my competitions (as well as yay! Walton Concerto!). they are soooo cool.i think one year im gonna keep myself in hiding and learn every piece for viola hindemith wrote..or in a 2-3 year period. since there were so many. maybe wheni m getting my masters.. hindemith was so awesome. i am OBSESSED(i love that word, unless it has to do with someone obsessed with me....)with the Hindemith Symphonic Metamorphasis. the beginning is sooooo cool. wow. i love it. my teacher said after i heard that piece i would be wearing hindemith t shirts and trading hindemith bubble gum cards.....well, he was right about the t shirt part. i really want a t shirt that says "Hindemith is amazing..and HE WAS A VIOLIST!"..i need to get out more... :/. i just read the article on robert diaz. hes my favorite violist. his tone is excellent and his technique is flawless. what an amazing player. cynthia phelps is great too. so school is going good i guess. schubie just came out with a new cd(hes my theory teacher)....i kind of chnaged his name here. he was asking people if he could autograph it and he was selling it in school...trashy.......oh, who said that!? anyway, margaretha yelled at jen the other day. jen is probably the mosty awful violinist i have ever heard. she makes noises i have never heard of before. or as my teacher says about ME "Chris is a composer...he composes new rhythms, new notes...in every piece!" i love my teacher. hes the best. margaretha is too. shes so spontaneous,. the article in newsday was so cool about heri have it pinned up in my room. wow. thats sad too. i should have like, porn pinned up in my room, yet i have an article and picture of my dutch viola teacher....sigh....well, anyway, jen was playing the 2nd Mozart violin concerto, and she had it for two weeks. it was as graceful as someone cutting a baby out of sharon tate.
it was most awful thing i had ever heard. and so margaretha said gto her "well, u havent been practicing,. now, we have to hear you like this." and later on, i got so sick of hearing these awful noises every week i went up to jen and said "listen, you better start working. we are SICK of hearing these noises every week. got it?" and shes like "i did practice!" andi said "no u didnt! you just said two minutes ago tat you didn't." she must know how bad she is. also, we had a visitor come in for an orientation of the high shool, and the girl couldnt play a g major scale in tune. margaretha bascially said "unlessu take a few lessons, you are not getting in. this school is for people who are already talented." the girl still didnt gt the point. but whatever. but why are these awful people at this performing arts high school!? i mean, there are some good people at cac but others...i dont know how they put their pants on in the morning. i better go., dad just brought home bagels....later my peeps.

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February 15, 2003 12:47

ugh, why arent i practicing? i really should be. sometimes i really dont feel like it. that stupid competition is not for a while....but still! arg! i went to the lamest party last night. no pot or drinking occured. actually, i dont think ive ever been at a party where that has occured. probably b/c all i do is practice all day. or dont practice in this case. viola is so annoying. so many people are like "your at msm b/c u want to be a violist?" and then they laugh. i bet people laughed at primrose and tertis too. oh well. and most of the people at the party i couldnt stand! arg! so stupid. i acutally played the introduction to the variations on a russian song of love by handoshkin i guess weird unfamiliar music like that is what is getting me into it. the people were so rude during my performance. they were talking and stuff like that. the last one, i played the 4th vieuxtemps concerto, the 1st mvt. ughhhh there are a lot of interesting pieces for violin. i think i might start Danse Russe by Stravisnky for violin. the technique i need to practice a bit, but its so cool. im obsessed with hindemith. i listened to the clarinet sonata yesterday. the 2nd mvt. has the weirdest rhythm. the pianist played it somewhat incorrectly too, very dry. ugh. started by violin sonata in e major today. its cute....cute. how dumb. ugh. and blah. its probably disaterious, im sure. i liked the discussion of mental illness and genius. interesting. i cant stand schumann. margaretha is making do those stupid romances. its just very uncomfortable to play. shifting in the middle of phrases. weird to interprete. ugh, dreadful music. i cant stand him. he was good with orchestra and piano.but viola and violin......and cello and everything else i think he was terribly awful. well, everyone has different opinions. im obsessed with glenn gould too. hes so cool. was so isolated. that was someone with musical genius and mental problems....well, i better go do something useful. going out today with mom and dad to TGIFridays. yay. my life sounds like an afterschool special. later....

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February 15, 2003 09:56

ive been reading these things lately, they seem interesting, i guess ill start writting one. well, im getting ready for 2 competitions. one of them im playing a triosonate by leclair. i love leclair. my conductor at msm always makes fun of him b/c students play him so awful sometimes. then i have the dreadfulk competition that i must practice a lot for this week. ugh. i hope i win. once ido, it'll be cool. my teacher will kill me if i dont win since his students win every damn year. but he also said that might work as a disadvantage. after the competion(its only a few weeks away) i can start the walton concerto. ugh. finally! such a great piece. i should probably learn some violin. i did before, with bruch, beethoven, and mozart and some bach. but of course there are other pieces id like to learn. im getting more interested in "weird" music. i guess i really like late music or barouque music. i also want to go to school in europe for college, amsterdam or paris. although a few years in america wont be so bad ifi get a good deal with it. mom said tyhe only reason i want to go to amsterdam is b/c weed is legal but nooooo, the koninklijk conservatorie is cool margaretha(my other teacher) went there. it sounded so nice living in europe. and as expensive. well, im only 15, i have a while think about these things. well, i better go. im also thnking of learning some interesting music. hmmmm. its an idea. later....

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