I am a violin student in the first semester of my senior year. I am working on a Bachelor's in Music (not a performance major) with a minor in business administration. I plan to get a Master's in String Pedagogy. This has been one of the toughest semesters I have had. I have been swamped in homework assignments from various classes, especially my accounting class, and studying for tests. Also, I am up to my ears in music. This is my first semester playing in the first violin section in orchestra and also in chamber (a string trio). I am also working on three solo pieces for my private lessons (Beethoven Romance No. 2, Bach Partita No. 2 gigue, and a Mozart Sonata). I have so much on my plate! The Beethoven Romance is kicking my butt. I can't seem to get it together. I hate all of the shifting and the crazy accidentals. My teacher continues to tell me to let go and just play, but this is difficult to do when your technique sucks and no matter how hard you work, you still cannot get it. I love the violin very much. I've wanted to be a violin teacher since I was a little girl. I can't see myself doing anything else. Yet, for the past week, the very thought of the violin has caused me to feel literally sick. I feel extremely sick thinking about the Beethoven and my chamber music. I have not touched my instrument in a week. Tonight is the first time in a week I have picked it up. I began practicing the Beethoven and again I began to feel sick. After thirty minutes I had to put it down. My stomach feels nauseated. I use to love to practice.I don't know what to do. I am now in tears because the very thing I love is causing me so much pain. Have any of you ever gone through this? How did you handle it?
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