July 15, 2006 at 3:04 AMWow....just went on a family outing today. It was a HOT and sticky day here today but the local amusement park we visited had a nice water park. We don't often go anywhere exciting, but I spent the whole day quietly wishing I was home so I could try out some new tunes I had gotten the other day.
Man, that's just SICK !!!
Welcome to my world, I'm ashamed to say. Therefore, I will be the first to assure you -- that's not sick! Guilt-producing, yes. Something awful, in my case. But that's simply how it's been since I began writing novels four years ago. Here's the trippy thing that just dawned on me - my son is seven, so that means I've spent more than half of his life trying to slip away from him in order to write - or, since last year - practice the violin, in addition to that.
So, let's use my short story character as an example here (thanks millions again for reading and commenting, BTW). You can not have a life and have plenty of time for family events and family seems to really really like it when mom/wife is accessible. Or you can get a life and constantly live with the tug of war of wanting to feed and nourish this thing that feeds and nourishes you. That doesn't include family in the least. I'm sorry to say I've never found a happy medium between the two. One month I was feeling dead inside (something fierce in July 2002 - ugh) and the next month I was on fire and it hasn't gone away and it's the most exhilirating/exhausting thing I've ever experienced.
Forgive me - this is your blog not mine. Oops. Man, give a writer a keyboard and they just don't shut up! : ) Just wanted to let you know, tho, that you have my sympathies on this issue. It's complicated, being a mom with an identity. But it's deadly being a mom without one.
My brother-in-law brings my father-in-law when he visits. Not so cool.
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