December 7, 2008 at 7:03 AM
I don't think I've ever quite felt this disenchanted with violin. Right now, I don't even want to play anything at all. Orchestra music doesn't thrill me, quartet music is boring and I find my solo material music to be avoided at all costs. I just have so much to do and I can't stand to play the violin. There are other reasons I don't want to play, but I won't get into them in this public of a forum. During the past week, I've developed an aversion to the violin that I haven't experienced for quite some time. I have juries in a week and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to play very well at them. I've not really had time to work on Bruch since Tuesday because of Christmas at Luther and all of the homework I have. Currently, I'm orchestrating Schuberts Sonatina in D-Major for violin and piano, for 2 flutes, 2 oboes, 2 clarinets, 1 basson, 2 horns, 2 trumpets, 1 trombone, timpani and strings. I'm making it for my final project in Orchestration class and it will be read by Philharmonia on Monday. I still have 20 bars to orchestrate and then I need to go into the detail work and edit each part individually. Conceivably, this could take me around 10 hours to complete and I have one more performance tomorrow and my parents are here. I have a 5 page paper to write and an important quiz to get ready for. Not to mention, I have all of my normal homework to do.
In violin news, when I finally get to practice again. I'm going to try something new...or rather, something I knew about but never really did and that Kurt Sassmanshaus' method of practicing. If if was taught by Dorothy Delay then it is probably of some value ;). Not only is it a way to practice slowly, but it's also a way to practice ear training and eventually rhythm of piece combined with intonation. It builds from the ear training side of things to the rhythmic side of things in about 45 min of practice. Done daily, it should be of tremendous benefit. However, I haven't even had the time to implement this, let alone any other real practice lately. I honestly cannot wait for this semester to be over and am looking foward to Christmas Break, lessons with Maria, Dr. Thomson and maybe some other people. I get to see the South Dakota Symphony for the first time in years! I'm really excited for that. It's been a while since I've heard an orchestra live.
I'm having a lesson on December 13 with James Buchan. It should prove to interesting and I'm really excited to see how it goes. If all goes well, I may be seeing him more often for lessons. I haven't heard from my summer teacher for a while, though I've email him 3 times to no replies. It makes me a little sad because I really liked him. Perhaps he has replied and I'm just not getting them or he's not getting my emails. I'm going to call UNI to make sure everything's alright at that end. I was planning on auditioning at UNI but since I haven't heard from him, I'm not sure if I will anymore. I'm taking it mean right now, that he doesn't want me to audition there. I hope I'm wrong, but I won't be too suprised if I'm right.
sounds like you should be on Dr. Phil
I just reread this and it sounds entirely too depressing.
My only thought is maybe you are just plain overloaded, and the violin is very conspicuous in how much time it takes and such. I have seen times when my son , who absolutely loves the violin, wanted to chuck it because he was so stressed out from other committments and facing the practice and such with the instrument physically and emotionallyy wasn't possible. Between school homework and the time committment of school, even when he could find time to practice he just was too tired.....
In any event, don't be so sure that it is the instrument you have fallen out with, rather then just being overloaded and overwhelmed:)
Hi andrew, my thought reading your post, I was wondering 'what's triggered this'. I wonder if the answer is in your third paragraph. Having that unease and the sense of having been rejected may have influenced how you are feeling generally about a significant bit of your life. I hope that what ever comes of the next few months, you can work it to your benefit.
I think Bill has a good point. I was feeling overwhelmed and just punted completely on practicing over the weekend, got a Christmas tree, adopted two guinea pigs, and am feeling much more psyched this week.
The last guinea pig I adopted lived for 8 years. :-0
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