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Golden Rules for Ensemble Playing

Performing: A old favorite just for fun...

From Daisy H.
Posted April 10, 2004 at 07:30 PM

GOLDEN RULES FOR ENSEMBLE PLAYING

1.) Everyone should play the same piece

2.) Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!

3.) If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners

4.) keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others

5.) Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.

6.) Take your time turning pages

7.) The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).

8.) If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

9.) Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.

10.) Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.

11.) If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

12.) If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."

13.) Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs

14.) If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.

15.) A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original

16.) When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.

17.) A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation

From Sue Donim
Posted on April 10, 2004 at 10:47 PM

I know at least one little-known but very persistent British quartet who adhere to these rules with vigour...

From owen sutter
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 02:27 AM

"A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation"

thats the best one

From violinist adept
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 02:58 AM

12.) If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."

16.) When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.

LOL!

From Daisy H.
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 04:19 AM

I'm rather partial to 12 & 16 myself..(perhaps because I can relate??) :)

From Stephen Brivati
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 09:27 AM

Greetings,
Sue, are you talking about the Lindsays?
Cheers,
Buri
PS Actually I"m still pissed at Peter Cropper for tearing my shoudler rest off in a mater class when I was playingScherzo Taratelle...Guy is a serious case of prune deficiency

From Daisy H.
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 03:20 PM

12.) If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune and prune."

From Ryan Meehan
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 04:11 PM

Number 17 is me!
LOL

From Kelsey Z.
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 05:42 PM

I've experimented with 17 a fair amount in the past...

From violetcat (rachel)
Posted on April 11, 2004 at 06:17 PM

Lol! #17 is a definite truism. According to my onstage "interpretation," Ravel really meant those high g flats in his quartet (1st movt) to be f's. Just ask anyone that was sitting in the audience. Except that the other violinist had to screw up the effect by playing an actual g flat. We have different interpretations I guess ;-).

From Sue Donim
Posted on April 12, 2004 at 12:33 AM

Buri, love the Stateside turn of phrase, especially after the recent alcoholic thread.

From Jen Horne
Posted on April 12, 2004 at 10:32 PM

AH! I printed out this list and took it into school today and shared with my fellow orch. dorks :P and we all rolled on the floor laughing at them!!!!

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Laurie Niles
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