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Violinist.com Interviews: Vol. 1

Our exclusive, one-on-one interviews with 27 of today's best-known violinists, including Hilary Hahn, Joshua Bell, Sarah Chang, David Garrett, Anne Akiko Meyers, Maxim Vengerov, and others.


Worst Violin Joke Ever! Can you beat it?

Violinists: Recordings and Performances: More bad jokes!

From edmund jones
Posted August 1, 2007 at 04:15 PM

I say I say, What ya doing with that old violin?
answer.
I gave Yehudi Menewun.

From Jim Hoyle
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 05:27 PM
I don't know where you hail from, Ed, but when I was a lad in UK there was a chidlren's programme called "Crackerjack" and they cracked exactly that joke /without fail/ in every show!
From edmund jones
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 05:39 PM
Hi Jim...funnily enough I heard it watching Crackerjack some 30 yeards ago with my kids!
Glad at least that some kids understood the joke!
From Megan Chapelas
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 06:18 PM
I don't get it.....
From Zachary Graft
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 06:54 PM
Neither do I...
From Jim W. Miller
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 07:02 PM
"Me new 'un," chappies.
From Zachary Graft
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 07:03 PM
ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, o.k., now that makes a little more sense. haha
From Megan Chapelas
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 07:10 PM
All right, who's going to buy me a viola?
From Emil Chudnovsky
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 08:40 PM
Q: (for Megan) What did the violist get on his IQ test?
A: Drool

AND NOW FOR OUR PRESS CONFERENCE
Q: Why don't violists get hemorrhoids?
A: Because all the a**h***s are in the first violin section.

Mr. President, follow up question: why don't the firsts get hemorrhoids either?
A: Because they're such PERFECT a**h***s.

From Penelope Brackenbury
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 10:34 PM
For the best... nothing could beat Gilda Radner doing "Emily Latella," that famed outraged and hearing-impaired senior citizen of many SNL Late Night News editorials....

"I want to know why people are protesting violins on television! They are very nice instruments. We should have more violins, not less, on television if you ask me!"

From Juanita Marion
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 10:42 PM
Good grief.
From Willie M
Posted on August 1, 2007 at 10:53 PM
whoever drinks the most, probably has the best scotch fantasy...so in that case me>rabin>heifetz
From Alison Smith
Posted on August 2, 2007 at 11:51 AM
Career advice: Don't take up the violin unless you don't mind being permanently b'roque

(Slightly off topic, but related. Definition of an oboe - an ill wind that no one blows good)

From Emil Chudnovsky
Posted on August 2, 2007 at 04:42 PM
Violin: n. - an instrument for the tickling of human ears by means of friction of a horse's tail upon the entrails of a cat. (paraphrased, probably, from Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary")
From Jodi B
Posted on August 3, 2007 at 02:14 PM
I thought that joke was a brittish joke... haha

I don't get a lot of monty python either ... my husband loves it

From Jim Hoyle
Posted on August 3, 2007 at 10:36 PM
I'm going to stick to being ... Bicycle Repairman. Might have some value in times to come.

But the worst violin joke I ever heard was ... William Primrose playing "On Wings of Song" on violin. Well, he was a viola player! ;-)

This was an original 78 on a wind-up but you can get them on CD I think. The slow wobbly vibrato was notable.