Charlie Caldwell

I want to be honest. I am really frustrated with violin playing. I love my violin, and I love my bow. They are great. However, when I listen to myself practice and I don't like what I hear, it is no longer the fault of a bad violin or a bad bow. It is my fault, and I am really frustrated at myself. I am worried that I am not good enough to use this fantastic bow.

I can play all the right notes in the world, but when my phrasing stinks, I get really disappointed. Trying to think objectively, I think my playing is "okay," but the problem is that I can hear the finished product in my head. So, while I have a clear idea about how I want a piece of music to sound, my playing is slightly different than the final product that I want. And then I have to keep working, trying to get my playing to sound the way I want it to.

I feel like my work is never done.

The good news is that my body knows how to produce the sound that my mind wants. I just have to focus on the task at hand, and I'll be fine.

I am so happy. Every day, I learn something new about my violin and bow. Every day.

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Previous entries: October 2009

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Mark O'Connor's method books -- released this week -- teach students using many styles of American music. Enter to win a set of the books this week, on Violinist.com. Photo: Deanna Rose