Mendy Smith on Violinist.com

The Death of Stage Fright

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:27:04 GMT

& nbsp;It's amazing how it actually happened. & nbsp;For years I was in the & quot;flight & quot; mode. & nbsp;Internal chatter took the stage front and center... what if I played a wrong note, missed a beat, come in late, and most of all - what will others think of me? & nbsp;My bow arm would shake like a leaf, I made horrible intonation mistakes. & nbsp;All my musical ability (such as it was) flew out the window the moment I stood on stage. & nbsp;Then a turning point came in my life - overcome the flight instinct or lose a scholarship. & nbsp;That day, fight won over flight. & nbsp;At first I thought it was a temporary thing, but the more I played the less fright had a role to play in my music.

Fast forward to this evening. & nbsp;It was just a rehearsal, with an audience of two. & nbsp;Last time I rehearsed in front of two people (back in March preparing for the audition), I got the shakes. & nbsp;But not tonight. & nbsp;This time the opposite happened. & nbsp;It was just me and the harpsichordist having a musical conversation. & nbsp;My body dipped and peaked with the changes of the phrases naturally. & nbsp; & nbsp;I completely forgot that I had an audience of two, present to criticize the music. & nbsp;

When the piece came to an end, I was reminded that there were others in the room when the feedback began. & nbsp;It came back predominantly positive. & nbsp;There were some suggestions on dynamics to make a better balance between the two instruments in the hall, and an observation on a minor intonation issue. & nbsp;But the feedback that made me leap for joy was a compliment on my baroque tone and style. & nbsp;All those years of studying Bach paid off. & nbsp;I & quot;get & quot; it now. & nbsp;

I'm now looking forward to November 29th, the day I perform solo once again. & nbsp;

The Composers: Z to A

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:52:31 GMT

It was suggested to me, in a not so subtle way, that I've been spending entirely too much time with composers that start with the letter B: & nbsp; Bach, Bloch, Brahms, Borodin, Bruch, Bridge, etc. etc. & nbsp; As a remedy to my & nbsp; & quot;B & quot; fixation, & nbsp; a viola concerto by the composer Zelter was suggested. & nbsp; Another friend chimed in and recommended a piece called Embellie by Xenakis. & nbsp; The original instigator then suggested Ysay & euml;. & nbsp;

So now begins the hunt for pieces written (or transcribed) for viola by composers that cover the whole of the alphabet, starting with Z. & nbsp; While I don't have a copy of Z, X or Y yet, and not close to ready to tackle the one and only W composer I have in my library, I do have a few V's in my library that are attainable. & nbsp;

So, I'm starting with Vieuxtemps Capriccio. & nbsp; At first glance, I had a small heart attack. & nbsp; So many black lines. & nbsp; Then I saw the words that gave me a glimmer of hope: Molto and Lento. & nbsp; Then I looked again. & nbsp; Arpeggiated chords and chromatic runs. & nbsp; I started to sweat. & nbsp; But then again, I was able to manage the Hebraique after alot of work, so why not this piece? & nbsp; I just need to remind myself: start slllooooowwwww. & nbsp; How much slower can you take Molto Lento anyway? & nbsp; I'm finding out now....

But take away all the chords, runs, trills, and other such ornamenation, and underlying it all is a melody that can break your heart. & nbsp; So I'm starting there, with the simplest of melodies, ever so slowly, and adding the ornamentation a bit at a time. & nbsp; I may never add all the ornamentation as written, but it doesn't really matter. & nbsp; When I do end up performing this piece, it won't be for showing off my virtuoso skills (if they existed at all), but to convey what that underlying melody means, at least to me.

A Peek into the Future

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:28:47 GMT

The viola transcription for the S & amp;P's arrived the other day. & nbsp; At Laurie's urging, I cracked them open and put bow to string on my favorite: & nbsp; the Chaconne. & nbsp; My question on 'what could be so difficult' was answered almost immediately. & nbsp; At the same time I saw the possibility that, yes, I can learn these before I reach 50, and what a journey the next 10 years will be!

But now is not the time. & nbsp; I have one year remaining to work on the Suites. & nbsp; There are only about 4 movements left to get under the hand so to speak. & nbsp; I can do this easily in a few months time. & nbsp; However I want to spend that & quot;extra & quot; time to re-visit movements that I began with on this journey. There is a depth that I haven't yet explored yet that deserves my time and focus. & nbsp; Not to mention techniques that need more work before I can even think of giving the S & amp;P's a go.

So in the meantime, I will cherish my time with the Suites before moving on.

By 50 Goal

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:59:47 GMT

It was suggested to me by my former teacher in Oregon that I take on the S & amp;P's for my next musical (by 50 goal). & nbsp; At first I thought 'you're nuts', but then I had to reflect back to when I started on the Cello Suites and I was told that I was 'nuts' considering them. & nbsp; So why not? & nbsp; What can possibly be so difficult that it would take a decade to learn 6 pieces? & nbsp; Guess & nbsp;I'll be finding out in the next year.

'Bach By 40' - One Year Remaining

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:43:32 GMT

It was back in 2003 that I began this goal - to learn all the Bach Cello Suites before my 40th birthday.� In a few days I'll be celebrating my first annual 39th birthday.� Tonight I played through all the Suites that I've learned to date and was amazed at how far I've progressed since I first started this adventure.� I have about 4 movements remaining to learn, mostly the Sarabandes.� It is now a study of chord execution, bow control, and stamina.

I'm amazed that all of this has happened uninterrupted no matter where I have lived and who I studied under over these past 6 years - 2 countries, 3 states, and 5 teachers.� I have been blessed with having teachers who have embraced this personal goal of mine and have focused their efforts in helping me in achieving this goal.��

I'm looking forward to this final year and starting to ponder what the next goal I should set for myself.� Should I re-visit the Suites with a different goal in mind or start something entirely different.� Well, I have another year to decide.� Until then, Bach On!

First Violin Performance

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:01:13 GMT

This Sunday at church I will be accompanying the youth choir - on violin. Not viola, but violin.� I've only played the violin for about 5 hours now and on occasion play notes a perfect fifth above what it is supposed to be.� Other than that, it has been a fairly easy transition.�

Picking out pieces to play on violin was more difficult than I would had thought at first.� I'm familiar with the viola repetoire, and it being somewhat limited making choices are a bit easier.� My first foray into the violin section of the music store left me almost breathless.� I chose some easier pieces that I had played on viola before and a few other "first concertos" in first & 3rd positions that I was not familiar with.�

At the end of the day though, my preference is still viola.� I love the richness in tone especially in the lower register that a violin just can't reproduce.

It's just like a viola, but smaller

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:48:14 GMT

Smaller by around 3 inches.� Yes, this life-time violist broke down and bought a violin.� It was a very interesting experience playing a violin for the first time in my life at the shop.� At first I was almost afraid that I'd break it as tiny as it is.� Then I was amazed that I could reach well over an octave.� Dare I even mention how incredibly easy it is to shift to the end of the fingerboard with no strain.� The down-side has been playing sharp, reading treble clef with an e-string, too many ledger lines, and loss of the richness of tone on the G-string like I get on the viola.

Just to make the record clear, I am NOT switching to violin as a primary instrument.� I just can not give up viola after playing it for so many years.� Rather this is to augment the church "string section" to make a proper quartet (we have 1 violinist, 2 violists and a cellist), and to broaden my horizons musically with new chamber works.

Still can't quite believe that I'm really doing this.� Well, the journey has just become even more interesting than before.

Summer of '09

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:39:49 GMT

Most summers for me are a time to relax and spend time on solo works, etudes and technical exercises. & nbsp;Not this summer. & nbsp;I had thought that moving across country would have given me ample time during the summer months to work on these things, but that did not happen. & nbsp;Instead, when orchestra season came to a close, I made a new viola friend and became involved (via him) in what seems to be every single musical activity available for an amature violist in the greater Houston Metro Area. & nbsp;

This has included so far playing in two pit orchestras, subbing for another community orchestra north of here, performing an entire Sonata at the church, preparing two more pieces for the church, and weekend & quot;classical music jams & quot;. & nbsp;Tomorrow I fly out for the long anticipated Interlochen Adult Chamber Music Camp. & nbsp;After the camp, orchestra season starts once again.

Though my private practice time has dimished to nothing, I have grown in many ways musically over the past few months. & nbsp;Playing in a pit was an experience in and of itself. & nbsp;Subbing with only two rehearsals was a test of my sight reading ability. & nbsp;Performing the Handel was a lesson in balance, musicality and overcoming stage fright in a profound way. & nbsp;Preparing for performing Bach Brandenburg #6 and Bridge's Lament is shaping up to be a larger challenge than the Bloch audition. & nbsp;What I thought I knew about music and performance seems so one-dimensional now - the equivelent of going from B & amp;W to High-Def. & nbsp;

As gratifying as this all has been, there have been moments of pure frustration that I've had to deal with - frustration with my body not being as flexible as it once was, short term memory and concentration issues, and a lack of music theory that would have enable me to understand what I'm playing better and communicate with those who I'm playing with more effectively. & nbsp;

However at the end of the day, it is all about being able to pick up the viola and play something that touches a heart or two of those who happen to be listening. & nbsp;In that, I succeeded. & nbsp;And to top things off, I made a new best friend. & nbsp;How much better can that be!

A Little Morning Music

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 03:24:39 GMT

Last Sunday, my friend Josh and I played the Handel Sonata in G minor, Opus 2, No. 8 for two violas and harpsichord for the church service. & nbsp; Given the length of the various movements and the liturgy, the movements were played out of order. & nbsp; We started with the 4th movement for the & quot;Prelude & quot; - then the 1st & amp; 2nd, and finally the 3rd movement - Largo for the Offertory. & nbsp;

At first I was calm, cool and collected, but then I made a mistake and looked up to see a chapel FULL of people and nearly panicked. & nbsp; My bow arm started shaking. & nbsp; However this time, unlike other times in the past, I was able to gain control over my nerves (with a some literal hand-holding) and was able to relax into the moment and the music. & nbsp; Each time I perform, it gets a little easier on the nerves.

Josh and I are now starting to work on our next performance piece - & nbsp; & quot;Lament & quot; by Frank Bridge. & nbsp; Quite a bit more challenging than the Handel, but a pure pleasure to play. & nbsp;

Getting a Handle on Handel

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 04:05:15 GMT

My friend Josh and I will be playing the Handel Sonata for 2 violas at the church in a few weeks. & nbsp;This piece is deceptively simple. & nbsp;There are not many places that go above 3rd position and the tempos aren't incredibly challenging. & nbsp;What is challenging is what's required to play a duet and well. & nbsp;First is the matching of dynamics, the passing off a phrase to each other, and matching styles so that it sounds like a single violist playing the piece alone. & nbsp;

I was concerned that I sounded & quot;scrubby & quot; and not producing a bell or organ quality that I was looking for, only to find out that from 3 feet away all the & quot;scrubbiness & quot; that I heard under my ear was inaudible. & nbsp;And to think that I struggled with this so much over the past few years and then find out that what I hear is different from what others hear. & nbsp;Live and learn! & nbsp;With that particular concern set aside for the moment, I can now focus on the other stylistic aspects of this piece. & nbsp;

I'm actually looking forward to the performance.