Dottie Case on Violinist.com

The many hats...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:14:31 GMT

& nbsp;As I was looking ahead to my day tomorrow, I realized that it is a quintessential snapshot of what many musicians live at certain regular 'seasons' of our year. & nbsp;Most musicians I know wear many hats...tomorrow just happens to be a sort of & nbsp;quick-change example for me, that many of you can relate to.

It's December...it's Advent. & nbsp;I am a church musician, so I spend many hours this month on Advent and Christmas music. & nbsp;Tomorrow I'll leave my house by 8:30, in order to get to church early enough to run a practice for the service, practice a duet that I'm singing and generally prepare for the day. & nbsp;After the service, I meet with a volunteer choir to prepare a Christmas Eve piece, get with the guitarist and drummer & nbsp;about a new number for next week, then fly out the door by about noon. & nbsp;In time to

drive 20 miles north, where I put on my 'conductor/teacher' hat. & nbsp;Tomorrow is our Christmas concert for the arts school where I teach. & nbsp;I conduct the youth and combined orchestras. Our call is 1:20, for a concert that begins at 2. & nbsp;The first half is a production of Amahl and the Night Visitors, and we are featured in the second half. & nbsp;We're doing some Mannheim Steamroller, as well as the last 4 movements of the Corelli Christmas Concerto, and accompanying a choir on the Hallelujah Chorus. & nbsp;I expect the concert to be over a bit after 4, and by the time we get things torn down and organized, I should just have time to grab a bit to eat before I

put on my player's hat, and head 'across the river' (Canadian border) for our first full-out dress rehearsal for the Symphony's production of The Sound of Music. (No Messiah or Nutcracker for me this year!). & nbsp;Evidently the last rehearsal was a bit dicey, with the 'talent' being a bit stressed. Thus our start time has been moved back to 6. & nbsp;Being the first full dress, it will probably last until at least 10. & nbsp;By this point in time I'll be 45 minutes and a border crossing from home. & nbsp;It's snowy and blustery and cold here. & nbsp;IT may be a very long week. & nbsp;Dress rehearsals are slated for S-Tu, with performances on W-Sat. evenings. & nbsp;There is some talk of an added Sunday show if the other days all sell out. & nbsp;

So, this week, I'll teach my usual student load (34 students), with the exception of my 7pm and later group. & nbsp;Then, I dash across for the show. & nbsp;I do of course, have to make up the postponed lessons. & nbsp;After a solid week of long days and lots of driving, it'll be Sunday again... & nbsp;another week in Advent. The Christmas Eve service isn't finished yet...better find some time somewhere to do that....

I'll plug away at decorating and shopping, cooking and resting. & nbsp;This is what December is for many many musicians. & nbsp;And honestly, while I might appreciate fewer nights committed to the Symphony this week, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. & nbsp;I am grateful that I don't have another sort of job. & nbsp;Exhausting, many hats...but, tis the season. & nbsp;

What a difference an attitude makes.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:14:47 GMT

�This is concert weekend for me, and we are doing a great program.....Beethoven Violin Concerto, Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis by Ralph Vaughn Williams, �Prometheus Overture and the first movement of Schubert's 7th Symphony. �It is a violinists program (though I am playing viola for the Vaughn Williams) and may be one of my all-time favorite concerts to play.�

I've re-committed myself to the orchestra this year. �The last several years have been stressful, with my mom's illness and death and a few other life events. �Because of all the traveling I was doing, I've only played about half of the concerts of the last few seasons. �At the same time, the symphony was making some (what I consider) bone-headed decisions involving the musicians. �I had gotten to the point where I was disgusted with them, feeling taken-for-granted (we are a volunteer orchestra, except for special events) and going to rehearsals and concerts had begun feeling burdensome and stressful. �So, my anger and stress was being carried into my experience of music-making.

As I've mentioned in other blogs, another result of my juggling major life events was that I found I hardly had time to really just play. �I teach both piano and violin, but most of my violin playing time had been reduced to the time I spend in the studio with my students. �When I did play concerts, �I was just coming in for concert weekend, with no regular rehearsals under my belt, and I was usually sitting at the front of the section in a relatively small group, which was stressful in its own right.

This year represents a new time of life for me, and I had decided (upon being put on blood-pressure meds) that it was time for me to do somethings for me. �I have a newly-empty nest, and newly-retired husband, and have gotten through some of the rapids. �It felt like a good time to re-write my life choices, and include some 'me' things into the mix. �I decided that I had lost myself as a player in the last few years...in the 'just getting through' times of juggling major things, that was a ball that got dropped.�

I remember being at one of the those 'last minute' concerts last year. �We were doing the Tchaikovsky Symphony #4, which I love. �As we were playing along, I was swept away by the experience of being a small part of the large whole, and of being a part of something amazing. �It felt like a priviledge to be there. �

I also remember when I first began playing. �I picked up the instrument at age 36, with no prior string exposure. �I had played with the same orchestra as a clarinetist years ago, but my goal was to come back as a violinist. �I played my first concert with them 2 1/2 years later. �At the time, that was the highest goal I could imagine...to be able to play in the 2nd violin section of the orchestra. �I worked hard and loved every minute of it.

So fast forwarding to now.... �when I came back to the orchestra this year, it was with a spirit of gratitude and enthusiasm. �I vowed not to let myself get caught up in orchestra politics, or resentment, but rather I wanted to remember every time I play how lucky I am that I get to do this. �Not many adult beginners are able to have these opportunities. �I am not only welcome in the group, I am a vital part of it. �So, I want to embrace that part of myself that is blessed to be able to identify myself as a musician and as a violinist. �

Which brings me to joy... �this year, I find myself becoming excited about each rehearsal. �Nothing has changed about our orchestra or the people in it. �The only change is in me, and in my open-arms approach to the experience. �I started playing the violin because I love music. I love playing the violin. �I love the freedom of having gotten to a level of playing where the notes can dance off of the string, and the bow has become my friend. �This is a blessing and a gift. �

My attitude of recent years was a result of the inevitable choices that I needed to make while going through 'the valley'. �In that regard, I excuse myself, but I choose a different thing now.

Last night, there were 2 distinct moments in the rehearsal that almost brought me to tears. �One was in the Vaughn Williams, in the climatic 'big' �section near the end. �I was playing viola, so had cellists on one side of me, viola on the other and could hear all the other violin parts surrounding me. �While I was playing triplet arpeggios for all I was worth, there was a part of my brain that was marveling...no, maybe even blown away at what we were all doing together. �Oh my word.....Heavenly. �Loud, intense, emotional and so beautiful. �I almost wanted to cry...I did grin.�

Then later in the Beethoven Concerto.... �at the same time I was marveling at the beauty of the piece and the player, I became aware of who was around me. �Behind me were two students age 13 and 14. �One of them �I started on violin in 3rd grade in a school program where I taught for 3 years. �The other I had in that same program, but have also taught privately for several years since.

Sitting over in the first violin section was a student of mine who just started studying at the university level. �I'd had him from the beginning until this year. �His stand partner is a woman in her 70s who had a stroke a few years ago. MY stand partner is a very well-known luthier (who just won a gold medal a few weeks ago in Cremona). �There is a woman in her 50s fighting cancer. �It struck me again how the music made peers of us all. �We are all equals. �It was an overwhelming moment, but I was struck with a sense of gratitude again. �

We get caught up in the details, schedules, demands of being musicians. �But we are lucky people.... �so lucky. �I'm trying to bring gratitude and blessing back into the character of making music. �

Second Fiddle

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:42:42 GMT

�I �recently returned from my annual week at chamber music camp for strings, where I tend to see many of the same people from year to year. �On the first night, we form a circle and introduce ourselves, tell a bit about how long we've played, and what instrument we play. One woman always earned a laugh when she introduced herself this way: "My name is K__ and I play the second violin". �

I am a second violinist. I too play the second violin.

For the last few years at camp, I've played with a core group during our chamber music ensembles times. �This group has varied from 4-6, and we play repertoire accordingly...Schubert Cello Quintet, Brahms Sextets, Dvorak American. �Last year we needed to replace our first violinist, so added Eric to our group. This year again Eric played with us, and a few times during the week he'd make comments about how it was time for me to dive into first violin parts.�

�

I attempted to explain to him---I am a second violinist. �I love the role and function of the 2nd part, particularly in a quartet or chamber group. �I enjoy the�dialogue�that the 2nd part carries on with both first violin and viola. �I appreciate that the whole key tonality often rests on my shoulders. I love how the inner voice functions...the fact that I can often drive swells, shape phrases �or control ritards from the inside. �I appreciate the need for the 2nd part to be played with confidence and competence.... "my" part adds richness to the ensemble. �So, while I certainly COULD be playing first violin, I'd far rather play 2nd in a really good and sensitive ensemble,filling the part the way the composer must have intended. �That's my spot. ��

�

�In my orchestra,��I tend to be the swing player in our violin section...I go where needed, on a concert-by-concert basis. �For the last few years though I've spent most of my time in the first violin section. I played first violin ii the opera this summer, and again this year I am playing first in orchestra. So, as I explained to Eric, I CAN do it. �

�

But really,�I play the second violin.�

�

LOST..... IN........ (cyber)SPACE.... !!!!!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:10:24 GMT

After a couple of hours of intermittent writing, I hit 'post entry' on the blog about my violin accident. & nbsp; I only turned my back for a second, but when I looked again, it was gone, without a trace. & nbsp; Snatched away almost before my very eyes. Vanished. & nbsp;

If I can gather the fortitude, I may endeavor to re-group and re-write. & nbsp; I told Laurie, it's a bit like being asked to head back into the Labor Room for a do-over. & nbsp; While the final product may perhaps be worth it, it's no fun. & nbsp;

She says, write elsewhere, cut and paste. & nbsp; Sigh. & nbsp; I'm listening. & nbsp; Sigh again.

Spring is sprung, and so am I.

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:08:29 GMT

I just scared myself nigh unto a panic-attack by stupidly taking a look at my calendar for the next 5 weeks. Easter Sunday, & nbsp; 3 Recitals, 2 studio classes... & nbsp; 1 day-long out-of-town youth orchestra festival, 2 dress rehearsals, a spring concert...2 nights of dance show... & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; This is all on-top of my & nbsp; normal teaching/work schedule.

I am getting better at just being able to accept that this is what Nov./Dec. and April/May will look like every year. & nbsp; This is life for a teaching musician. Just take a deep breath, and plow straight ahead..... & nbsp; & nbsp; I'm planning to have a nap on April 19 and May 3. & nbsp; :)

I guess it's a little bit like being a farmer at harvest time-- & nbsp; You gotta do it when it's time to be done. & nbsp;

& nbsp;

Back to the reason for it all.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:33:46 GMT

I just read Karen's and Emily's blogs and they put into words much of what I've been spending a lot of time thinking about lately.

Juggling 'real life' with being a musician is hard for all of us, maybe even particularly if 'real life' is taken up with music things. & nbsp; There is a part of me that feels a bit trapped lately, and it has to do with the balancing part of what I do. & nbsp;

When I first began teaching it was (with my teacher's blessing) as a means to an end. & nbsp; I was a stay at home mom with 4 kids, and the lessons provided me some money to pay for violin lessons for me and my youngest. & nbsp;

As years went on, my kids left home, I went to school and ended up with a full studio...I & nbsp;have about 34 violin and piano students. & nbsp; I could have more but feel full. & nbsp; I also have a very part-time job at my church, play in two orchestras, conduct a youth orchestras, play in various pits, have a string quartet that does summer gigs and am in grad school part-time. & nbsp; All of this on top of having my last chick at home in her last year, and grown kids/grandkids in 3 cities about 5 hrs away. (All of whom expect to see mom regularly:). & nbsp; In the last 2 years I've lost my school job, lost my mom to cancer and had various other family dramas play out. & nbsp; Given all of this (and I understand that some of you have it even tougher) I've felt really good about the fact that I continue to get up every morning, mostly with a smile on my face, and enjoy life. & nbsp; I tell myself regularly, & quot;self, you're doing OK & quot;. & nbsp; :)

However, I have noticed a loss....it seems that in my slog-through-it-all days, something has fallen by the wayside. & nbsp; That something is the thing that was the core reason-for-it-all in the beginning. & nbsp; My violin, my music.... & nbsp; I've lost that. & nbsp; I find it ironic that I, who began teaching in order to support my violin habit, now am identified primarily as a teacher. & nbsp; I'm a good teacher....I know that, and am comfortable in that identity. & nbsp; I have a waiting list of students who wish to get in with me....but I'm hardly a player any more. & nbsp; I & nbsp;mean, I spend a few minutes of panicked practicing before certain concerts (like the one last weekend...Scheherezade!! aaahhh!!) and I prepare for what I need to do, but I no longer have time to explore new territory on my own. & nbsp; Even in my own mind, I've made a shift and find myself feeling insecure when asked to play certain things that are within my range...I think of myself as a teacher, and not a player. & nbsp;

Now obviously, you must be a player to be a teacher....that's not really what I'm talking about though. & nbsp; I keep my skills up, but it's been a long time since I went exploring on my own...discovering some new thing. & nbsp; I feel like I've lost that person who, in the early days for example, had a burning desire to be able to play the Bach Double. & nbsp;

As my youngest heads off to music school in the fall, I realize that part of this in me is that my focus shifted....as she began to advance more and more, the focus went on her rather than me. & nbsp; She was 'the violinist' of the house...I was the mom, and the teacher. & nbsp; Not her teacher, but a teacher. & nbsp; She is a gifted player, and as we began to set goals and dream dreams for her (she did get accepted with the teacher/school of her choice) I lost sight of my own goals.

I've decided that I'm either going to cut back my studio or at least NOT let it grow. & nbsp; I'm busy enough. & nbsp; And I've already written notes to the manager and conductor of my local symphony, recommitting for the year. & nbsp; In recent years, I missed quite a few concerts due to the circumstances. & nbsp; And, biggest thing is, I'm changing my attitude. I've gotten to the place where I almost resent the symphony for the way it handles things (real problems) but have lost sight of the fact that this is something I love to do. & nbsp; I once dreamed, as an adult beginner, of the day when I'd be good enough to play in the symphony. & nbsp; Now they count on me and I resent it? & nbsp;

But mostly, it's about the music. & nbsp; I get to be a part of that wonderful music... & nbsp; I need to embrace that as a gift and give it my best offering. & nbsp; So, I've already told my kids (who occasionally give me a hard time about my weekend commitments) that I'm playing more next year. & nbsp; And, I'm reorganizing my life. & nbsp; I'm even considering taking lessons again....Maybe even just once every 2-4 weeks, to give me a reason to set goals and make progress. & nbsp;

As an adult beginner, there is a lot of catching up I & nbsp;must do, many pieces I've not yet played. & nbsp; Recently I was on YouTube and heard Ida Haendel's rendition of Kreisler's Preludium and Allegro...a piece I've always loved but have never played. & nbsp; I've decided that this is the next goal...learn that piece. & nbsp; Just for me...

Orchestra demographics

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:54:37 GMT

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Marquette Michigan, killing time by alternately resting and practicing for a concert that I am playing this evening. & nbsp; For the last & nbsp; 2 years I've been a contract musician for this & nbsp; orchestra in a small college town about 3 hours away from my much-smaller home. & nbsp; This orchestra acts as a kind of a regional orchestra, drawing musicians from as far away as Green Bay and Milwaukee, as well as northern-lower Michigan, and combining them with players from the local university.

Life situations have prevented me from playing here earlier this year, so this is my only concert with them for this season. & nbsp; & nbsp; For whatever reason, this time, I find myself struck anew by the 'unity-building' power of playing music together: & nbsp; the group is incredibly diverse, ranging in age from about 16 to some players in their late 70s, or even older. & nbsp; There are retired professionals from major orchestras interspersed with amateurs and students. & nbsp; As I look around, I see buttoned-down white-collars, 'emo'-type students, stereotypical 'orchestra nerds', and academics. & nbsp; There are men in sweater vests, students with multiple piercings, women who look like men, and a man who looks like Santa Claus. One young bass player is standing next to another who is old enough to be his great-grandfather. & nbsp; I see bald men and balding women, a teenage girl with the sides or her waist-length red hair shaved bald (one serious mohawk!) and boys who've obviously used a flat-iron on their long hair. & nbsp; There are people in this group who are comfortably wealthy and others who struggle to pay their bills each month. & nbsp; Some are retired, some work 3 jobs. & nbsp;

The fascinating thing to me is to notice what an 'equalizing' power that the music holds. & nbsp; We are all here with the same mission, involved in and invested in something outside of ourselves. & nbsp; No one cares how you wear your hair, if you have money, or what sort of degrees you have. & nbsp; The only real questions are about the music. & nbsp; Can you contribute? & nbsp; What do you have to say that adds to the whole? & nbsp;

I'm liking the easy comfort that we all feel with each other, the total acceptance of all, and awareness of being part of a team. & nbsp; It's affirming, and encouraging, and serves to strip away all of the 'otherness' that can disguise us in our daily lives. & nbsp;

Adult Beginner on Hold...How Appropriate!

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:46:28 GMT

I've been trying to find the time to write the next part of the Adult Beginner Journey Blog, but real life keeps interrupting lately. & nbsp; Which is, interestingly enough, exactly what is true of being an adult beginner. & nbsp; Learning, lessons, practicing....all those things have to be fit around the real life things, such as sickness, visiting relative...jobs. & nbsp; & nbsp; Deadlines. & nbsp; In my case lately, I've spent 2 weeks of the last 4 visiting with my newborn grandbaby. & nbsp; The other two have been owned by sickness...and now I'm doing a flying trip to Fl. for a 5 day weekend with some others of my grown kids/grandkids.

That's it then.... & nbsp; a slice of what it means to be an adult beginner....fitting violin in wherever possible. & nbsp; And learning to be patient when real life says, & quot;Not this week! & quot;

I'm taking my computer...thinking that perhaps some enforced time on the plane may allow me to think. & nbsp; Or perhaps not :). & nbsp;

See you all next week. & nbsp;

Adult Beginner, take 2.

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:07:51 GMT

In reflecting on the 'adult beginner' thing, I realize that in my case at least, it is the sort of thing that is fed and nourished by a mindset, and by example. & nbsp; While my parents were not educated people in the classical sense of the word, they both had an interest in the world, and a desire to embrace new things. & nbsp; I can remember living in Spain as a teenager in the early 70s, when my mom got a typewriter from somewhere, and we all began to learn to type, drilling on the home row. (Now is the time....) & nbsp;In those pre-computer/pre-keyboard days this was a skill that usually required training. & nbsp; Later, when we moved to Michigan, my parents both took advantage of the fact that the Air Force had an arrangment with the local university to come and teach College level course work, and both of them enrolled in & nbsp;a few & nbsp;classes. & nbsp; In fact, during that time, my mom decided to study for and take her GED, and dad did his High School completion. He graduated from the same High School I did, but a year behind me. & nbsp; :) When he retired from the military at age 40, after 21 years of being a jet-engine mechanic, he went to college and earned, of all things, a degree in nursing. & nbsp; Yes, nursing.... in fact, he is 70 now and still working. & nbsp; & nbsp;

All of this makes me aware of the fact that I was raised in an environment where the unspoken (and spoken, too!) pervasive message was that it was never too late to learn something new, that a & nbsp;hunger for knowledge is a good thing to feed, and that, 'of course you can do it! & quot;.

To music, then. & nbsp; After playing in the symphony as a clarinetist for a few years, I had baby number 3. & nbsp; During my pregnancy, they found another clarinetist among the university student body, and I was told, just after delivering my daughter that I no longer had a spot. & nbsp; This was devastating news to me...I don't think I realized how much rejection I felt in that until years later, when I realized I still couldn't bear to speak of it. & nbsp; So, I put my clarinet away, and having 3 young kids, poured myself into the home and family thing. & nbsp; I discovered that I was a creative....during those years, I learned to sew well enough to do it for money, learned to do basket weaving and quiltmaking...in fact, I taught both of those things in area enrichment classes. & nbsp; I cooked, baked, canned & nbsp;and dabbled in woodworking (I made the bedside table in my room from oak from a tree on our own property), and in general stayed busy. & nbsp; I was (am) a jack-of-all-trades sort of person. & nbsp; I learned to do most things well, but wasn't a super-star at any of it. However, I do think this 'dabbling in many things' fostered an attitude of 'can-do-it-ness'. & nbsp;

Musically though, I look back at those years as a sort of black hole. & nbsp; I think I was so scarred by what had occured what the symphony that I sort of closed it all away. & nbsp; I did sing in a community chorus, and continued to play the piano at times, but that was all for a few years. & nbsp; In fact, I shut the music so completely away that I made good friends during those years who didn't have any clue that I was a musician at all. & nbsp;

There were some tough years in those middle years, including some losses and a breakdown. & nbsp; I & nbsp;mention it only because as it turns out, music in my life was an integral part of my recovery. & nbsp; I'll just say that part of the 'walking through the valley' thing for me was a struggle with what I was made to do, and for me, a huge part of it was finally giving myself permission to grasp hold of that word 'musician' and hold it to myself. It was something I had to own, and it wasn't dependent on others. & nbsp; There was a sense in which I had so totally lost myself at that time, that I didn't even experience emotions anymore...and I had buried too many parts of myself in order to get along, or fit in. & nbsp; The music part of that turned out to be huge, though I didn't know how much so at the time. & nbsp; It was an integral part of what was a profoundly spiritual struggle... & nbsp; A God thing. And much of my recovery had to do with music...initially, listening to it robotically by the hour, then & nbsp;playing the piano and singing. It became like & nbsp;air or food... & nbsp;

I had my youngest daughter when I was 32, about the time that I was beginning the long climb out of the pit. & nbsp; & nbsp; When she was born, my oldest was in High School, my second son in middle school, & nbsp; and my older daughter & nbsp;was 7. & nbsp; So I was very busy. & nbsp; Life was turning sunnier. & nbsp; When she was 4, I decided, for whatever reason I still don't know, that I wanted to play the violin. & nbsp; Now, at this time, the only time I'd even seen a violin had been the string players in the symphony (none of whom, at that time, would speak a word to a lowly wind player). & nbsp; I'd never held one in my hands...but I decided I wanted to play. & nbsp; I believe that God Himself put the desire in me to play, since what happened over the course of the next 10 years was so far into the realm of & quot;you've got to be kidding me & quot; that I never ever EVER could have even thought to dream it up.

So...I talked about wanting to play a violin for a while. & nbsp; I & nbsp;knew there was a woman at my church who played, though I'd never heard her. I asked her one day, if I could get an instrument, if she'd teach me, and she said yes. & nbsp; But, I didn't really know how to go about getting one, so for some time, I just talked about it. Finally, and unbeknownst to me, my beloved mom ordered me one from the JC & nbsp;PENNEYS catalog and gave it to me for Christmas!! & nbsp; Yup.... & nbsp; a Chinese instrument (actually, with more knowledge, I realize that we really lucked out it. & nbsp; It was pretty good for a $150 instrument!). I was 36 & nbsp; years old. & nbsp;

The next part is pretty funny, and I suppose speaks to the enthusiasm that I had for the 'learning violin' project. & nbsp; I happened to mention my new violin to a friend at church, and she told me that she had played as a child, and still had her violin under the bed...so I asked her, & quot;want to take lessons with me? & quot;. & nbsp; And she said, Sure!. & nbsp; So we started...and we kept mentioning it to more and more friends, and by later that spring, we had a 'group lesson' of about 5-6 grown women taking lessons together. & nbsp; It became a social thing...we'd drink flavored coffee and plow through the Applebaum book together. & nbsp; It was a great and fun way to learn....I still remember cracking up over how one of my friends couldn't manage to slur at all...I finally had to hold her bow arm while she moved the finger. & nbsp; Looking back, I realize that all of my best friends at that time ultimately began playing with us. By the end of the year, we had one viola and about 4 violins. The following fall another friend took up cello and another did viola. For a time, there were at least 5 of us trekking into Canada and taking lessons at the Conservatory over there. & nbsp;

Music is social...and we were having a blast. & nbsp; I have tape recordings of the early months, when we would get together on our own and try to play together, in 2 or 3 part harmony. & nbsp; On one of the songs (I believe it was a hymn of some sort) we get to the end together, and mostly in tune, and I can hear us enthusiastically congratulating each other. & nbsp; At other tiimes, we're cracking up over how bad we sound. & nbsp; You can hear our early attempts at vibrato, and 4th fingers... & nbsp; It was just fun. & nbsp; I'm glad I have those tapes.

In time, most of the others fell away, though we did do a few years of chamber music camp together before that happened. & nbsp; I can say this....my initial hope was to eventually get & nbsp;good enough to be able to & nbsp;play basic hymns in church. & nbsp; That was as high as I & nbsp;even knew how to dream. & nbsp; I & nbsp;began lessons in January, and played & nbsp;in church by Easter of the first year...so, had to dream a little bigger :). & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;

I though I'd be able to complete this in 2 installments, but looks like it'll be a bit more. However, we're now getting to the actual & quot;adult beginner violinist & quot; part of the journey. & nbsp; & nbsp; So sorry for the length...I've never actually attempted to put it all down before, and it's all so interwoven that without all the details, I can't make sense of the outcome. & nbsp; Who knew??:)

& nbsp;

My Adult Beginner Journey...Installment 1

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 00:58:15 GMT

I began this blog entry as a reply to a thread where Terez & nbsp; has asked to hear from adult beginners, in light of an article that she had read. & nbsp; I started writing, and realized eventually that my response would be longer than might be appropriate for the discussion threads, so I decided to copy/paste the beginning here, and finish the story in my 'own' space :). For any of you stalwart souls who've read the beginning in the thread, I'll try to make it obvious where the new part begins:).

OK, another adult beginner story. & nbsp;

My father was in the Air Force during my entire unmarried life, and we moved frequently, often every few months in the younger years. & nbsp; I once counted it up, and I think I went to more schools than I did grades of school. & nbsp; Because of this, there was a lot of alone time. & nbsp; I was always the new girl in town, or moving to a place where I knew no one.

My parents were raised, both of them, in unusual home situations. & nbsp; My mother's mother died when she was 7 and she and her siblings were farmed out to various relatives (poor relatives) who didn't want them. & nbsp; My mom had a job in the 'muck fields' of Ohio when she was just 9 years old, and worked the rest of her childhood, and dropped out of school in 9th grade. & nbsp; My father was raised by two deaf-mute parents. & nbsp; His siblings taught him to speak. Dad dropped out of school at age 18 and joined the Air Force.

Considering their backgrounds, looking back, I still find it remarkable how important books were in our home. & nbsp; From the earliest days, my parents made room in their extremely meager budget for the purchase of books for me...I had all the Dr. Suess books, and could read well before starting school. As years went on and we got older, one of the first things we did with each move, was find the local library. & nbsp; I remember going to the library every Saturday as a 9 yr. old living in Peru, Indiana, and having the librarian tell me that I was about finished with everything in the children's room, and would need to move into the 'big' room. & nbsp;

It was at this same home that my first exposure to music came about. & nbsp; We had moved to Indiana just after Christmas in 1967, when my dad returned from a year and a half assignment in Thailand. I was in 4th grade. & nbsp; One of the first things that I discovered in my new school was that the students there were all playing Flutophones, and had been doing so for a few months. & nbsp; I, of course, was clueless...had never had a music class before that that I remember.... & nbsp; and had never seen a flutophone. & nbsp; My teacher sent me home with an instrument and a book....I still remember running up the stairs in the new house to show my parents. & nbsp; I was so excited. & nbsp; I remember sitting on my bed, and tryiing to figure out the fingerings on my own. & nbsp;

The next day I showed my teacher what I had done, and she (Bless Her!) took the time to correct the way that I was reading the fingering chart. I took it home again, and the next thing I knew, I had caught up with my & nbsp; peers and could play anything I wanted. & nbsp;

(Thinking back on this all now, I'm struck again by what a huge difference was made in my life by the small actions of a couple of teachers along the way....)

At the end of the year, I was identified as a student who had musical aptitude, and was encouraged to join band in 5th grade. (Note: & nbsp; I never even saw a stringed instrument other than a bass until I was an adult. & nbsp; My circles were all band schools). & nbsp; I began clarinet, a plastic Bundy that my grandfather bought 'on time' for me, and became very good at it. & nbsp; I have a memory of moving to another house (new city, new school) in Indiana, and playing my clarinet on the front lawn of my new home as we moved in. & nbsp; I guess even then, it had become something that I identified myself with. & nbsp;

Sometime around here, I began asking for piano lessons, and was told that there was just no money for it. & nbsp; And this was true, I know. & nbsp; As I look back, and take my parent's backgrounds into account, I realize what an anomaly I was to them....neither of them had had any sort of music in their backgrounds whatsoever, and had no concept of music education for kids. & nbsp; I feel grateful that I was encouraged to the degree that I was....they really didn't know where this musician-person had come from, and no experience with it at any level. & nbsp; Having said all that, had my parents known the path my life was to take, I know they would have MADE & nbsp;the piano lessons happen. & nbsp;

As it went on, we moved to Spain for 4 years where we lived in a 2nd floor walk-up apt. & nbsp; There was to be no piano in this situation, though I asked with regularity. & nbsp; At that time, the military paid a certain housing stipend per month. & nbsp; Many families lived in the base & nbsp; housing, but my dad decided to save money by living in a little town a few miles from the base. & nbsp; This allowed him to save money from each housing stipend, which he put away. This represented a bit of a hardship for us kids, as we didn't initially speak the language, and had no phone, television or peers close by. & nbsp; We used to beg to be moved onto base housing to live closer to our friends, but dad persisted, feeling that it was a better decision for the family. & nbsp; This tended to drive me even more into books....we would take a trip to the base every payday (2x a month), and visit the library, where we would check out literally stacks of books. & nbsp; My mom was a voracious reader like me, and my sister began the same habits as well. & nbsp; WE would also visit the little comic book store, and once a month or so get quite a few new comics....Superman, Hulk, etc. & nbsp; :) & nbsp;

(I'm struck again, writing this, by my parent's commitment to reading, since at that time, neither of them even had a HS diploma).

When time came for us each to move back to the States, Dad rewarded us kids for the 'hardship' of living away from our peers. & nbsp; Each of us was to pick something that we would like to do/buy/have once we got back. & nbsp; I chose a piano and lessons. & nbsp; I was almost 16 at the time.

Our first posting after 4 years in Spain was in very rural far Northern Michigan (where I still live). & nbsp; Once again, my whole 'identity' in the new school was 'the girl who is really good on the clarinet'. Already, by this time, 'musician' was becoming my identifying characteristic, even though I was also a good student, fairly good athlete, and not too hard on the eyes. & nbsp; :) (time...sigh)

My parent s found an old upright piano, which we hauled into the basement area of our split level base-housing duplex. & nbsp; I think it was there out of consideration for the attached neighbor residence. & nbsp; Regardless, I flew along in my piano lessons, which were Saturday mornings. & nbsp;I would spend literally hours...indeed, most of the day....at the piano while & nbsp; there. & nbsp;

it was at this location that I realized that I could check out music from the library. & nbsp; Ours was small, but still did have a collection of classical music....thus, I became known as the girl who checked out the & quot;Beethoven Symphonies & quot; record collection....:)

As it turned out, I only took lessons for about 7 months, as I ended up being a statistic of sorts. & nbsp; I became pregnant, and married the father of my baby. & nbsp; (We are still married, 33 years later). I did & nbsp; complete HS, graduating a semester early, but most music was put on the shelf. My in-laws were 'music appreciators', and my mother-in-law could play almost anything by ear in the old gospel style of Baptist hymnody. & nbsp; I used to sit at her piano and teach myself to play.... & nbsp; eventually picking away at some of the Sonatinas and simplified Bach. About 4 years into our marriage my husband arranged to purchase me a new piano...it just happened that his uncle was a Baldwin dealer for a few years, so we got a pretty nice piano for a good price. & nbsp; It was still a major purchase for our young poor years, but I was delighted.

Over the course of years, I took piano lessons for a few periods of time...probably 2-3 stints of 3-6 months each. & nbsp; My kids can all still remember falling to sleep at night to the sound of the piano...I played a lot.

When I'd been out of HS for about 5 years, I was invited to attend a Symphony concert. & nbsp; I didn't even know we had a Symphony. & nbsp; Turns out it was a cross-national (US and Canada) community orchestra with professionals staffing major sections. & nbsp; This is a VERY & nbsp;rural area...to hear the orchestra, I drove 25 miles. & nbsp; Back when I was young, and we were very poor, had 1 car and 2 small kids, it & nbsp; seemed like a major trip, to drive to town and cross into Canada. Still, I was invited, and I went.

This is how naive I was....I remember listening to the orchestra, and saying & nbsp; to this friend that invited me, & quot;I'll bet I could play with them & quot;. & nbsp; Now at the time, I don't think that anyone knew that I was a clarinetist, so she was a bit scornful about my claim. & nbsp; However, in the brashness of youth, I approached the conductor at intermission and asked if they needed another clarinet. (I was so Orchestra ignorant, so Band-trained that I didn't know that orchestras only use 2 clarinets). & nbsp; Surprisingly, he told me yes....and we set up an audition date & nbsp; less than a week later. & nbsp; I went home, pulled out the plastic Bundy and started playing for the first time in 5 years, almost biting a hole through my bottom lip in the process.

Well..I got in, was at the next rehearsal and played with the group for about 4 years.

(OK, this is proving to be long and detailed...as it must be, to make sense of the rest. & nbsp; Still I & nbsp; think I'll call this Installment 1, and finish in another Blog Entry later)