Comments

Hi Emily ,
that was a thought provoking story .I think that the prasie element only really works when it is spontaneously done ,as well.

hope you had a nice birthday

Mark N

My teacher is very conservative with praise. I've learned that moving on to a new exercise, measure or piece is her way of saying "ok you have that". I just recently started vibrato. As we worked on it for the first time, I felt her eyes scrutinizing every movement as I struggled to get a sound...any sound. As I was about to give up, a couple of "wah-wahs" emerged. She shouted, "That's it...that's it." I beamed. She was truly excited for me. That was worth waiting for. I'm a senior citizen, though; Children may need their egos stroked a little more often. I believe that giving praise works *only* when you're sincere about it. People can tell the difference. I think that your teacher's remark about your shirt was in terribly poor taste. No one should do things like that.

I've seen a related problem. Even when praise is sincere, students and others can be reluctant to accept it because their own self image is so bad. It takes skill to deal with this problem, too.

I just had another thought. Sometimes one of my students does play something terribly badly. Often they'll even say so. Then I tell them, "This piece is quite challenging. Play something else you're more comfortable with to warm up." This helps them feel more confident and we can go on from there. Sometimes I tell them, "This is a strategy you can use for practicing on your own. If you're having a lot of trouble with something, play something easier and work up to something more challenging." Even playing something badly can be good as a learning experience. I usually would only like positive feedback when I deserve it. Even then, do it sparingly.

When you get showered with compliments you get overconfident and you start relaxing on your practicing.

I'd like it to be almost like a masterclass everytime I'm there.

What a great story! And everyone can identify with that moment of nakedness when you know you haven't played well and are hoping for a scrap of compassion...or a merciful silence. =^) My last teacher told me that he'd tell me when he believed I'd done good. Most of the time during our lessons he would be frowning or, at best, looking tired and resigned. But I would live for the moment when he'd say, "That's it! You got it!" Those times were very few, but I'd rather have those sincere few praises than a lot of half-meant compliments.