April 25, 2009 at 8:01 AM
(The following message is a paid advertisement.)
Tired of hearing the same wrong notes? Sick of screeching and scratching away during your lesson? Is your violin teacher beginning to sound like a broken record, handing out the same advice and assignments over and over again?
Now there's practice! Just a few minutes a day produces amazing results! All you need is fingers and a place to sit or stand. Practicing is cleared by the FDA. You'll work your abs, lower back, and shoulders, all while improving concentration. It's so easy! Safe to use, no messy clean up, ideal for all your studio recitals. Why waste hundreds of dollars on lessons when practicing will produce stunning changes at no additional cost? Just ask these students:
"I couldn't be happier!"
"I went from a level two student to a level three student in just six weeks!"
"I'll never waste money on unprepared lessons again!"
Practice! Try it risk free for thirty days. If you don't love it, you can quit!
Can I buy practice in bulk for my studio?
I would love to practice like mad 9-10 hours a day! But for now, a few minutes is better than notihing I guess :) I also feel like if it is a waste of money when I am not prepared and am very sorry about this. Perhaps, it's because I'm older I realize it! But it makes me realize the value and importance of practice even more and I will be so aware of the devastating effects that come with bad practice that it will give me this little Kick in the ... and drive to do it all my life when studies will be over! Sometimes it is when we miss something that we appreciate it even more when we can have it after!
You are right!
Should have used all caps so that we'd have the full experience of the ad being SHOUTED at us. :)
Okay, I will! Thanks for the suggestion, Dottie!
I say we make the infomercial...
But wait! If you call now, because you know we can't do this all day or anything, we will include your first concert FREE. That's right FREE!
WARNING: Practice may have severe and unwanted side-effects including but not limited to tendonitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, rosin allergy, sleep deprivation, depression, intense self-doubt, hatred for elevator music, and the desire to lock oneself in a small room for many waking hours each day.
I guess I overindulged in PRACTICE today - I picked up my violin about 4:00 p.m., and when I was wrapping it up, found it was about 9:30 p.m.!
Oh well, the weeding in the garden can wait until some other time :-)
You should audition for the new show on Discovery chanel, "Pitchmen/person!
(Alternative) WARNING: Practicing well leads to increased levels of brain activity, motor interdependence, better self-knowledge, and higher self-esteem.
PRACTICE is the shortest way from "huh?!?" and "hmmm..." to "a-ha!" and "yesss!!!"
Contrary to the belief of many students, PRACTICE actually saves time, energy, and weekly embarrassment in lessons. PRACTICE is fun when applied correctly, repeatedly and creatively.
Overdosing on PRACTICE may have adverse effects of your previous social life, such as hanging out with under-achievers, blamers, time- and potential-wasters, and future burger-flippers, these pitiful characters now being replaced by goal-oriented, driven, purposeful leaders that are equally self-motivated and successful.
Documented side-effects of PRACTICE may include better lesson preparation, successful performances, some worried peers, proud parents, and very happy teachers. In the practice room, the student may also become suddenly euphoric at times of improvement previously considered impossible - yelling, dancing, broad smiles, and occasional tears of joy have been documented.
Serious side-effects of PRACTICE: a new outlook on life can be experienced. Beware, learning how to learn can become a life-long addiction, and have serious repercussions in all areas of activity. A previously unknown dependency on accelerated progress is not uncommon.
If the symptoms of PRACTICE persist, parents may need to purchase additional sheet music, accessories, or even better instruments to support these welcomed developments.
Application of PRACTICE: daily in one long session, or even better, multiple shorter sessions daily. Best accompanied by a detailed plan that includes review of fundamental skills such as scales, arpeggios and etudes with a variety of rhythms, bowings, dynamics, and tempos. Breaking down big tasks into manageable pieces is a very effective way to PRACTICE. Also, to ensure that PRACTICE is correctly internalized, memorize or play with eyes closed or in the dark, and listen intently. Always listen, ask yourself questions, seek improvement... Don't just play it again, play it better!
Counterindications of PRACTICE: do not induce laziness or self-contentment too soon after the application of PRACTICE, as it may have reverse effects, especially after only a few signs of improvement. Do not mix PRACTICE, under any circumstances, with mindless distractions such as TV, video games, texting, feeding the pets, "going through the motions". Remember, passing time with the instrument is definitely not practicing – replace your timer with a few clear, achievable goals, and pursue them.
In case of emergency, please contact your teacher for additional repertoire, even before your next scheduled lesson. When new pieces are assigned, apply PRACTICE and repeat as needed. Then repeat again... PRACTICE not until you get it right, but until you cannot get it wrong anymore!
PRACTICE – fully endorsed by WOT (World Org. of Teachers), time-tested by the best performers, and wholeheartedly recommended by your very own teacher!
PRACTICE – definitely intended to diagnose, treat, and cure your most challenging passages and pieces, while preventing embarassing disasters in any performing situation.
Life is good, go PRACTICE!
I love it! Emily and Andrei--can I use it on my students? :)
It works when Ensyte or Viagra doesn't!!!!!!! }:^D
"Beware of imitators!!"
I've got an ear infection so I'm hiring someone to practice for me.
practice makes perfect...SENSE
I can't really tell how much I have practiced until it actually comes to the lesson.
"TWO THUMBS UP!"
This has to be the most creative thread that I've seen in a WHILE! Thanks, folks!
Practice stays crunchy even in milk!
I practiced once. I still sounded like crap at my next lesson AND my teacher still picked on me...
Neil, please revisit the the word "once".
One bird doesn't make spring... Latest research suggest it takes the brain 8 (EIGHT!) times longer to unlearn something and relearn it differently (not necessarily better, just different, mind you...).
"Once" doesn't cut it as the odds are way against it... Semi-scientific research also suggests it takes 3 weeks of daily, mindful, determined repetition to replace an established habit with a new one. Nature of our grey matter – ignore at your own risk... Practicing is about patient perseverance and constant searching for better, efficient playing.
After assessing your own playing, ask yourself WHAT, WHY, and HOW you can and must improve. Between lessons, are you listening as well as your teacher does?
Andrei. I think that was the point of the joke.
Yep, Emily got it. I suspect Andrei missed it on cultural differences. :)
Oh and the quote is "One swallow does not a summer make..."
Got it (finally...) Sorry for my useless preaching, Neil!
As they say in Alaska, one day without rain does not a summer make.
Or does it?
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